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    Friday, December 30, 2005

    Stick A Fork In Me 'Cause I'm Done!

    When I went to bed last night at 11 pm I wasn't feeling the best. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I was feeling poorly. I couldn't sleep so I got up at 1 am and began my 16 hours of projectile vomiting.

    I have this weird habit where I can't stand to puke into a toilet. It makes me sicker just thinking about what has been in it. Luckily I had taken a bucket with me to the bathroom because the flesh eating diarrhea took effect soon after. You know the kind I'm talking about. It makes your ass feel like someone poured acid on it. So I'm stuck sitting on the toilet with a bucket on my lap. I'm painting a pretty picture here aren't I?

    I have to say that I'm usually a great puke aimer, but this was flying vomit. I spent 9 months with each pregnancy hurling every hour that I was awake, so I'm usually pretty accurate with my aim. I'm embarrased to say that I even hit the wall. I'm telling you there is nothing like having fluids poor out of every orifice of your body. Ok, maybe my ears weren't spewing loads of liquid, but everything else was.



    The smell was enough to keep you wretching for days. I had to open the window even though it was only 25F. The cold didn't bother me since I had the sweats and even my feet were moist.

    I got a migrane and couldn't keep the medicine down to make it better. I've also had a terrible neckache for 3 days that was only made worse by my spewage.

    I'm a wreck but the good news is that I just ate a cracker and it stayed down. Woo Hoo!

    Update: It's 8:30am and I made it throught the night with no vomiting! I still have diarrea but since there is nothing left in my body, it's not too bad. I haven't eaten anything yet but might try another cracker.

    On the bright side, I lost 8 pounds since Wednesday! I think that's everthing I must have gained over the holidays!

    21 comments:

    buddha_girl said...

    Holy God. My sympathies. Take care of YOU. Got that? If I was nearby and you weren't in fear of needles, I'd give you some morphine. It cures what ails ya. Poor thing! Congrats on the cracker!

    Lara said...

    Awww I'm feeling for you bigtime. SOOOO glad you seem to be getting past it now. You need to be well to celebrate Saturday night you know! :)

    Hugs (from a distance... no one wants what you have!!)
    ~L

    MamaKBear said...

    Good lord, girl!! I'm not feeling so hot myself the last couple of days, but I'm nothin' close to what's going on with you!

    Hope you're feeling better soon!

    Big Pissy said...

    WOW!!!! Very descriptive!!! I'm sorry you're so sick! Hope you feel better soon!! :)

    Scotty Ice said...

    Hello from Mobile!

    ..just thought I would say hi and wish you a Happy New Year!!

    ...oh and a Happy HNT!!

    Hope you get to feeling better also....

    Mike said...

    OMG, you had me dry heaving! LOL

    Laurie said...

    Aw, Jenn... get better soon!

    (((hug)))

    wmy said...

    I have had acid ass before too! It's not a fun club to be in is it? Hope you feel better sweetie.

    barman said...

    Jenn sorry to hear how ill you have been. It is a good sign you were able to blog, you must be doing a little better. I am sick myself but nothing compared to what you have went through. So let me hold my breath and {{{hugs}}}.

    If Mr. Sign and the kids are not taking care of you I am sure I can manage to gather some chicken noodle soup, jello, gator aid and anything else that might stand a chance of staying down and bring them on over.

    Take care of your self and don't you even dare think of doing any work.

    Oh and happy new year. In like a lion, out like a lamb? I hope so.

    DZER said...

    glad ya had stuff finally stay down ... I've been there with the projectile vomiting at the same time as ass-searing diarrhea ... NOT a good combination LOL

    Suze said...

    Jenn, you're not expecting again are you?

    I must admit to being put off my lunch when I read this.

    However, I am glad you are now keeping food down.

    Sheets said...

    Um, that was way more information that I would have wanted... but.. like a car wreck.... I had to keep reading...

    gigi said...

    Poor thing!

    Tell me, did you have to clean up the mess?

    I hate being the mommy when I'm sick! You know what I mean?

    Take care of yourself!

    SignGurl said...

    Buddha Girl~I have no fear of needles, so bring on the Morphine.

    Lara~I think I'll be ok for Saturday night. Thanks.

    MamaK~Get better!

    Big Pissy~Thank you

    Jarvis~Welcome to my digs! Not really the best day to visit, huh?

    Mike~It was a little like your rollercoaster ride, huh?

    Laurie~Thanks, Sweetie!

    Wmy~Let's start a club. On second thought, I don't want to be a part of that.

    Barman~Sorry you aren't feeling well. If the chicken soup would stay down, I'd take you up on it. ::Hugs::

    DZER~I remember your bout with this stuff. Your description was a little more complete, lol.

    Suze~Dear God, if I'm expecting, kill me right now. (Mr. Sign had a vasectomy.) Sorry you almost lost your lunch, but if you had, you could be in the club.

    Sheets~I am like a train wreck, and yeah, you just have to keep gawking!

    Gigi~Yes, I had to clean everything up myself which induced another round of hurling. The kids have been very good to me by not eating near me. I thought asking them to clean up my puke was a little much though.

    Top cat said...

    Jenn, I can't thank you enough for this totally descriptive post regarding your vomit & diarreha.I wasn't sick when I came in here but now I'm a bit queasy.LOL

    Seriously, I hope you feel better, yeah saltines are the bomb, same with Vernor's ginger ale when sick.

    Take care of yourself sweetie.

    Tc

    Blondie said...

    Ohmygoodness, Jenn! You poor thing!!

    Hopefully those crackers will help you on your way back to health! Take care of yourself, my dear.

    georgiabelle said...

    As they say down here in the south, "Bless Your Heart!!!"

    You poor thing! I HATE to be sick, or even be around someone else being sick. Do take care of yourself and get some rest! :) I'll be thinkin' 'bout ya!

    Wenchy said...

    Wishing you all good things for 2006! ... minus the sick parts! :o)

    ~Deb said...

    Hmmm, I was just about to take a huge bite out of my taco. Nevermind.

    Are you okay?????? I hope that you feel better. I can totally relate to not wanting to vomit in the toilet, due to other crap thrown down there-- literally. That makes you dry heave in itself.

    Just eat lots of soup, (try) and crackers. White rice is wonderful and if you can---try eating a banana.

    All the best to you! Sorry your New Year is starting off so 'shitty'. :(

    SignGurl said...

    TC~The Vernors and saltines are doing the trick.

    Blondie~Thank you, sweetie!

    City~I hate being around sick people including myself. Thanks!

    Wenchy~Right back at ya!

    Deb~I'm on the mend so 2006 will be good! Don't think I'll be up to drinking much tomorrow night.

    cherish said...

    I am visiting your blog from TC and I wanted to say AWWWW I am so sorry you are ill! I had that flu and it was the absolute worst thing I have ever experienced and you described it perfectly!!! Growing up my mom always gave me Gingerale when I was sick, to this day I can not drink any sodas that are clear and the smell of gingerale makes me ill.

    Wishing you a wonderful New Year and I hope you are feeling MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!