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    Thursday, October 12, 2006

    I'm Hungry

    I started the "diet" today. 800 calories and 150 grams of protein. The "food" is prepackaged and you add water and microwave.

    Yum, yum. I made oatmeal with cinnamon apples this morning. This stuff looks like glue with lumps of snot thrown in. Daughter #2 walks into the kitchen and proceeds to tell me that my breakfast looks like throw up. She's charming, isn't she? I tell her to refrain from comments because I have to eat the stuff no matter what. I choke it down because I know I have to do this.

    At lunch, I was heating up my vegetarian chili and my stepdad walks in and says, "What stinks?". Uhh...my lunch? Choked it down anyway.

    The consistency of this "food" is just strange. It doesn't help that you only get about 4 ounces of "goo" at each meal.

    Here's to hoping that tomorrow's meals will be choked down a little easier.

    Oh, on a good note, because the diet it mostly liquid, there is no bowel prep before surgery. Woo hoo!! At least something good is coming out of this.

    I almost forgot to mention that a physician's assistant was one of the many people that spoke to our pre operative gastric bypass group. He was quite matter of fact as he explained things that would happen to you while in the hospital. He was explaining the breathing apparatus that you have to breathe into after surgery. He said he likes to see one ball up within the first couple of hours and three balls before you leave the hospital. Now I just lost it and laughed so hard that tears were rolling. I told the group that it's lucky we are not men with three balls. The entire room broke up and it took him a good minute to bring the room back around. His next sentence was, "I wanna see you get it up before you leave." Once he realized what he said, he said, "I didn't just say that did I?" He had to leave the room to compose himself.

    We all got to meet with him one on one and he told me that he had never lost his composure during seminars and he'd been doing them for over 4 years. He said it was all my fault.

    15 comments:

    Spitfire said...

    good luck honey :-)

    The Savage said...

    Woohoo.. yay you.. two points for the composure losing :D

    barman said...

    Good for you. He will never forget you!

    Hey good luck with that. When I had my abdomen opened for the gal bladder thing it was definetly fun doing that breathing thing. They told me I could not get out unless I was doing my breathing exercises. Oh, I did not have to get up three balls to get out. Thank goodness.

    Manny said...

    ahhhhhhhhhhh ah ah ah ah
    That is hilarious.
    The nurse or assistant at the hopital will be acting like a cheerleader when you're breathing in it.

    I am so happy for you.

    gab said...

    Hope he's not doing your surgery!Lol. Glad you have a good sence of humor. Good luck eating your "meals"

    Nonny said...

    I'm crying over here you sick, sick douche!

    I hate oatmeal and chili.

    kimmyk said...

    Oh my gosh...that little ball thingy Signgurl, I seriously could have thrown it across the room it HURT so much to do that. Not so much the blowing but it's whats after that that will make you almost pee your pants in pain.

    Good luck with your eating. I eat oatmeal everyday-Quaker has a high protein oatmeal in cinnamon and another in banana that's pretty good.

    Chrissie said...

    Eww i hate those bally things! I have asthma and i swear that makes it just that much more difficult! I usually find it helpful to lie about the balls and about the passing gas LOL "oh yup i did! Yep did that too! PLEASE can I go home??"

    Good luck to ya Sweetness!

    ell said...

    balls, balls, balls.

    gotta love 'em.

    MamaKBear said...

    I'm so glad things have finally come through for you!! I'll be thinking of you when the big day comes and pray that everything goes perfectly!

    Oh, and I was laughing my ass off at the balls thing! Heheheheeeee

    DZER said...

    boo on goo ... just stay focused on the end goal, darlin' ... *smooches*

    Lestat said...

    A natural-born trouble maker I'd say ;). Good luck!

    Anonymous said...

    Best of luck to you.

    Suze said...

    Jenn, I'm routing for you. It's a comfort to know that this guy has a sense of humour and a good bedside manner about him. You will feel more comfortable about things in his presence.

    cadbury_vw said...

    hey, your diet sounds just like what i eat every day

    check out the other blog

    cinnamon apple oatmeal stuff - i have pictures
    [heh]

    even the vegetarian chili - just made a huge pot of it last night!

    http://cadburylookingup.blogspot.com/