Family Holidays

Thanksgiving was hard for me but not for the reason you might think. Food was no problem. I had turkey, green bean casserole and mashed potatoes. I put them on an appetizer plate to make it look more full. I was very satisfied. I didn't snack on anything at the snack table.

Things went south as soon as I entered the door. My grandpa answered the door and immediately let me know that everyone had been watching a video of me taken in 1987. He just couldn't get over how much smaller I used to be. I just let it slide and continued on into the house.

My grandma then made the comment that I was looking better. I wanted to scream, "Better than what?" but instead I said, "I'll take that as a complement even though I'm not sure that's what it was meant to be." I've never talked back to someone who hurt me but I couldn't hold back.

My stepdad then cornered me in the kitchen and was all excited because he had seen the video and he's sure that's what Mr. Sign and I will look like in a year. I had to yell at him (loudly), "I know, I know". I'm sure he meant well even though he's made many rude comments over the years.

All of these incidents happened in about two minutes. I tried to shake them off and have a great day.

Most of the day was spent with all 29 of us looking at old pictures which of course brought up how "thin" I used to be. (I was never, ever thin. I wore a size 13 when I got married.)

As we were cleaning up, the final blow came. I was talking to Mr. Sign about all the rude comments I had endured all day. My mother opened her mouth and said, "I guess the truth hurts." I couldn't hold back and had to yell, "Yeah, mom, that was helpful to me."

I immediately packed up and left without saying goodbye. I had to because I knew I could no longer hold back the tears. I cried all the way home and even after we got there. I was devastated.

Most people wouldn't be hurt by these comments. I expect them from everyone, except my mother. My mom has always been the most supportive person of everything I've done, including my weight. She would take me shopping as I gained weight to try to make me feel better about myself. She's never once made a comment about how much I weigh.

She tried calling as soon as I got home but I was still too upset to talk so I ignored the phone.

A cousin called and talked to Mr. Sign saying how sorry she was about the abuse I had endured that day. (I guess it wasn't just me being emotional.)

Mom called me this morning and chatted like nothing ever happened. That's her way of apologizing. I have never heard her say she was sorry to anyone.

I was reminded of a conversation I had with my weight loss surgeon. He told me to be aware that those closest to me would be the ones who would sabotage my weight loss attempts. I never dreamed he would be so right.

So how was your Thanksgiving?