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    Friday, November 16, 2007

    Flash 55, Take 15

    Tonight was the night!

    She walked into the room and knew
    she exuded self confidence like she
    never had before.

    There was so much for her to be appreciative of,
    including her healthy intelligent children
    and loving spouse.

    She held her breath as she walked in under the
    sign that read, WELCOME, CLASS OF 1987.


    If you are interested in attempting to write a 55, you can visit here. If you do one, go tell Susie that you did.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The trend I've noticed regarding my weight loss, is that I go three weeks teetering back and forth 2 pounds and on the 4th week, I will drop 5-7 pounds. It's frustrating, but I'm so thankful I'm still losing.

    I've been getting out much more lately. I don't give myself the chance to be lazy and stay in like a hermit. Because of this extra exposure, I've been forced to notice that I'm getting a lot of attention. Not just from people who knew me when I was at my heaviest, but from people in general who don't know that I used to be super morbidly obese.

    I've spent most of my life blending in, praying that people would ignore my weight. The confidence I've gained now has allowed me to look around my surroundings and see what others are looking at. I'm amazed as I meet their stare and am met not with looks of disgust, but genuine smiles.

    It's still hard for me to remember that I'm not huge anymore. It seems foreign to hold my head high and look people straight in the eye.

    I'm having a bit of a harder time in regards to people that did know me at 384 pounds and their reactions. It sounds strange, but I'm a little put off by some of their comments. I'm learning to accept a nice compliment, but I feel weird when people go on and on like I'm not even there. A person the other day said in front of a group, "Isn't she just gorgeous? Look at her beautiful glowing skin. Isn't she just amazing?" It was just plain creepy feeling to sit there while someone talked about me like I wasn't there. It was even weirder because I had just had the conversation with my step dad about how the weight loss thing is easy right now because I have support, but what's going to happen when people stop making comments?

    I don't even know who I am in pictures sometimes. This picture was one of them. I don't recognize myself.

    I guess I'll have to work extra hard now and accept the compliments and keep them in my memory for a later time.

    P.S. Not one person, out of 150 people clicked the link on my HNT yesterday to see my newest YouTube video from this past weekend. So disappointed...

    29 comments:

    Rebicmel said...

    Well Jenn just know that what you have done is wonderful, and I feel people will keep saying nice things because you are just that type of person people respond to. Class 0f 87 huh I was the class of 84 I haven't been to any of my reunions lol....

    Great Flash kiddo and you look great

    Flyinfox_SATX said...

    First off, you do look good. Loved your HNT post. Sorry I missed it on the day. And I did check you out while listening to the Chemical Brothers.

    You're hot! And you Rock!

    Flyinfox_SATX

    Big Pissy said...

    Love the 55!

    So clever! :)

    Great video~looks like fun! ;-)

    not2shy said...

    I shouldn't worry too much about the talking in front of you. They have probably been in the habit of talking about you when you weren't there, so this is an improvement. Just let it be known, quietly, that you don't like it.

    The stats about the video must be wrong, because I clicked from the HNT and watched it, and enjoyed it.

    G-Man said...

    Jenn...
    Sometimes you really do leave me speechless.
    Not only when I look at you, but when you write.
    Don't kid yourself, you are as good as anyone on the WEB...Great 55..
    xoxoxoxox

    katie said...

    I loved the You Tube video! Once again- great song! I was feelin' it. :) You look gorgeous in all the pics. You could easily pass for 25, girl. Own it. :)

    Love the 55.

    smarmoofus said...

    *chagrin* I'm one of the 150 people who didn't click on the YouTube link in your HNT yesterday. But I honestly didn't notice it. Honestly.

    Ugh... Reunions. I skipped my 10-year. I don't know what I'll do when my 20-year comes up (in 4 short years). Hopefully, I'll have found someone to whisk me away to some far away place where I can pretend I can't be reached (even though we'd get internet access somehow or I'd slowly wilt and die but don't tell my old classmates that because I'm trying to avoid them).

    But good job on your 55! And additional kudos if you really went to your reunion.

    SoCal Sal said...

    I clicked it and it asked me to download something. I was at work so I couldn’t. You know I always click on you baby!

    SoCal Sal said...

    BTW, it’s that time of year again

    Go Buckeye’s !!!!

    Mike M said...

    Great 55!!

    You look so wonderful!!

    S said...

    That's pretty normal what youre going through sweetie. I have been so many sizes in my life that I really never know what to expect from pictures.

    I know it must be pretty intense what youre dealing with. With a lot of the compliments I receive about my currently svelte self, I Definitely do wonder what they thought about me when I had 45 extra pounds on me. I have also had the opposite reaction, seeing pictures of myself when I get quite heavy, and barely recognizing myself.

    I feel so honoured that you have chosen to share this life changing experience with all of us, and what a joy watching you blossom.

    Ok and now...SUPERNUMERALS? Argh! Expensive, frustrating....and so odd!

    OK Now I know I was here for HNT...I am going back now to figure out what I missed!

    See you later, hot stuff!

    S said...

    OK I watched it! :P
    Heres the thing, your post has two links, one to the video and one to the click through...maybe people thought that the click through and the other link were the same....

    Anyway, looks like you had a blast with your girlfriends!

    Queenie said...

    I think I know a little how you feel, if we are to be going a long distance I have to use a wheelchair.
    People will talk to Math but ignore me apart from the condescending smile.
    At the moment there are pics and links I can't pick up I did try, I'm unable to get barmans pic, but I saw the one you have shown here on G-mans and I'm saying it to you "your gorgeous".
    BTW, great 55.

    Akelamalu said...

    Great 55, I posted my first one today.

    You look fine to me, that's from someone who desperately NEEDS to lose weight!

    snowelf said...

    Jenn, what a cool concept for a 55!!

    Have a great weekend!!!

    --snow

    MONA said...

    Great Flash Jenn. It is best suited to the occasion!
    & congratulation again. Anyone would really feel inspired by you!

    lime said...

    nicely done 55 there. i can imagine it must be really strange to look at yourself sometimes because the changes have occured so rapidly. and anytime a person talks baout another in their presence but liek they aren't there...it's just a weird and uncomfortable thing. definitely.

    ell said...

    i am continually amazed at your progress - you are an inspiration - and you are one, hot babe!

    i checked out your video - liked the music - great job!

    Sophia said...

    High School reunion....oh man, my 10 year is coming up...where has time gone?

    Crabby said...

    On my way to check out your You Tube.
    I have a feeling you better get used to compliments. LOL! There will be lots more.
    But the best part is the fact that you are still the same beautiful lady on the inside that you were from the first day I met you.

    Manny said...

    Sign I do know how you feel. I too have gone through a physical change recently (In the past 4 months). Not because I got sick and it has absolutely nothing to do with weight.

    I will not tell you here in this forum, but I will tell you while we are chatting sometime.

    Manny said...

    And I just have to tell you something else.

    Don't get mad at me. You are not allowed to get mad or hurt.

    I have been biting my tongue for over a year now...but this is it...
    I have to say it...

    You have always had a beautiful face. You have the most genuine, gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen. I'm not usually a 'blue eye' girl. No wonder Mr. Sign fell in love with you...those eyes of your talk. They invite people to love you. They twinkle.

    You have always had the brightest smile. Your smile has always lit up blogland and I'm willing to bet it's the same in real life too.

    You have great hair. It looks so thick and the body is amazing. The color goes perfect with your eyes and smile. I love the style. I couldn't wear my hair like that.

    Now I am happy you had surgery, but only because you wanted to have it done (you recently helped inspire my change). I worried for you because I knew someone who it didn't go so well for (We talked about her while I was off).

    That being said, Your true beauty comes from within. Your spirit glows from the inside out. There is something about you that draws people in.

    You are the one and only Jenn.

    Manny said...

    Let's get married. LOL

    Manny said...

    Or at least make out. G can take pictures.

    Manny said...

    GO BUCKS!


    GO BUCKS !

    GO BUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!

    The Savage said...

    She looks so sad in photographs but absolutely love her.... when she smiles....

    Okay.. yeah cheesey but eh.. I'm a cheesey kinda guy....

    Top cat said...

    Great 55 and I think over time you will come to accept the new you.
    How many years were you the old you? this will take time sweetie.
    Thank you for your Hugs yesterday it meant a lot to me.
    tc

    Charles said...

    Nice 55. Class of 87 puts you 11 years my junior. Healthy intelligent children and a loving spouse are something to both appreciate and to be proud of, no wonder you're exuding confidence.

    BTExpress said...

    I looked the video. Late, but I looked at it.