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    Monday, January 21, 2008

    Rough Time

    ~Updated at end~

    I'm having a tough time with my eating. I still track everything that goes in my mouth. (Keep your minds out of the gutter! Besides, there's not many calories in that and it's mostly protein.)

    What I've noticed lately, within the last month, is that I think about food all the time. I fight with myself all day long about trying not to think about food. I think I need more calories than the 1200 I'm getting. I'm burning about 4100 calories a day so how can I not be losing weight?

    I haven't lost any weight since Dec. 31st and had actually gained a little. I'm back down to 202, but sheesh, it's been a long road.

    I shouldn't complain about being at a stall since the longest one I've ever had was 3 weeks (which is how long it's been now).

    At 15 months out, I've lost 183 pounds. Even though I haven't lost any weight, I found out I could wear a size 14 in jeans. I had gotten mud on my last pair of clean ones and the only pair left was the 14's so for grunts and grins I tried them on thinking they wouldn't even zip, but they did! I've never been a size 14. I skipped right over them and went to an 18 just out of high school.

    I'm not really liking the extra skin I have. Just when I make peace with one part (belly), I find another that looks hideous (thighs). There is no way that plastic surgery is in my future as I could never afford to take months off work. My job is physical and I would need much time to recuperate. Save your breath if you are going to tell me that you have some fabulous exercise that's going to make my extra skin snap back. There is no way that any exercise is going to help this flapage.

    I will have to learn to love my new body as it's taken me places and will continue to do so (hopefully). Extra skin is better than fat any day.

    ~Update~ After all of that whining, I got on the scale this morning and lo and behold, I had lost 2 pounds. I now weigh 200 pounds exactly. I'm not sure it will be that tomorrow, but I'm taking it for today.


    lime said...

    wow a size 14! that's great. it must be so exciting to reach that milestone.try to think more about that and not so much about the plateau and the skin.

    G-Man said...

    My ankle is a size 14!!
    You are beautiful, so just be patient...xoxoxox

    Anonymous said...

    the weight will cum off

    sometimes the scale is cruel

    but it will cum off

    and i thought it was all protien

    no calories at all

    have a great week

    buddha_girl said...

    See? You feel my pain.

    I'm four years out and still losing weight. There will be months that go by without a change, and then, whammo, droppage. There's no rhyme or reason.

    My surgeon told me long ago that my body wasn't going to give up much more. I've proven her wrong, but the loss is bittersweet. My skin is gross. I hate it. I act like it doesn't bother me, but bathing suit season is upon us again...soon.

    And I can remember the faces in the Outer Banks last year when my skin met the sun. Ugh.

    barman said...

    You have come so far, focus on that. The plateau is not fun, they never are but you will get past it. Just hang in there.

    As to the skin, that is a toughy. Do you think if you got all wet and were to jump in the dryer you might shrink a little? I know, not helping.

    wallycrawler said...

    You look great, keep up the good work!

    I can't believe how much you've changed in a year!?

    Don't look back...Keep on go'n.

    snowelf said...

    omg, Barman's comment was too cute!
    It's so freakin' cold lately, I kinda want to jump in the dryer. I am so sorry you've been having to work outside! Brr is an understatement.

    Plateaus totally suck. I know there are some things you can do--like eat a little bit more calories to jump start the weight loss process again--that helps. You gain a little at first, but then lose that and more. I also know if you up your water and lower your salt, that helps--although I know you are a really great eater now, so you've probably got that under control. Sometimes just squeezing in ten more minutes of exercise in a day can help too. I really want to just blame your plateau on the cold and that your body is not wanting to lose any weight because it's been so flippin' cold outside, it wants the insulation. Anyway, those are the tricks that work for me.

    You've come so far, Jenn, I know plateaus are discouraging and gaining a little is even more discouraging, but I also know you are not going to give up, either. If anything, I think this is going to make you even more determined.

    take care and sorry I've been such a stranger!! (I almost wrote you a novel to make up for it, it seems! LOL!!)


    terry said...

    plateaus ARE terrible, but they end eventually.

    you've come so far, your body needs time to recalibrate..yknow?

    you really are amazing.

    SignGurl said...

    Lime~ You are so right about keeping the milestones in perspective. I would lose my mind if I didn't have them.

    G-Man~ I've seen your ankles. They are skinny, so stop it!

    Wayne~ With protein cums calories ;)

    Buddha Girl~ I think being women makes us much harder on ourselves than anyone else would be.

    You have so much to be proud of. I know the skin bothers you, but I try to think of how much better it is (and easier to hide) than the fat.

    Barman~ I'm going to try that dryer trick!

    I'm whining like a small child about being on a plateau. I really have no business complaining when many weight loss surgery patients go for months without losing.

    Wally~ Thank you!!

    Snowelf~ The thought of being in the dryer sounds sooo good right about now.

    You are right about breaking the plateau using your tricks. Those are all things I have been trying lately, and they worked!!

    Terry~ I get the whole recalibrating thing. I know it's a necessary thing for your body to go through in order to keep losing. It still sucks. Thank you for your kind comments. :0)

    Anonymous said...

    you continue to inspire me, sign gurl!! keep on, girl! you have achieved so much and i am proud of ya. hope your weekend was great!!

    Donna said...

    You know, when the scale stops moving and you're doing everthing right, then perhaps it really is your body re-shaping. That's the only thing I can think of given my experience. I mean, how can I go from an 18 to a 16 and not lose pound in 3 months? Hang ing there, and trying to stay in the moment -- don't think back to the old days and how much we thought about food. *hugs* You're beautiful inside and out... and healhty to boot. The "hard lard", those last few, are going to be a challenge, but you can do it.

    Yippeeskip said...

    Jenn, You're right on track and this is so normal-the obsession w/ food and up and down weight. Once the excitement of rapid weight loss slows, we begin to be dissatisfied with our food intake and body.
    Just like every other women on the planet.
    My advice: Watch How to Look Good Naked on Lifetime.

    Kristen said...

    Wow.......you have done so great since I've been gone......congrats!!!!

    Casdok said...

    Reaching a plateau is so hard, but sounds as though you might be coming out the other side!

    Strumpet said...

    Congrats on the 200 mark, Sign-babe!

    That's too awesome!!

    I've been catching up on your blog, and it seems to me we both have a thing for construction workers lately...

    I guess it's something in the air.


    Great minds really do think alike.

    And, remember Sign-babe-honey-love...

    EVERYTHING is life is just takin' it day by day....sometimes I have to remind myself of that, and it's really hard to get it through my thick skull...but when I do, I always feel better.


    Just focus on getting your protein...it makes everything right in the world.


    And, I'm sorry, but I was just drooling at your HNT pick down there, the one with the dessert plates....and your skin looks pretty sweet to me, you hottie.

    You look damn fine in a pair of jeans, woman.

    Keep up the great work, and try to focus on how fuckin' sexy you are!

    Cos, DUDE!

    You da bomb.

    Also, I'm with Snowelf, when it's cold...your bod just doesn't want to lose weight. Makes it all the more difficult. Damned winter.

    I say you, me, and the Elf go and have fun on a spin cycle, drip dry a bit, and take turns hoppin' in that dryer.

    Akelamalu said...

    You have done marvelously well. Having just started my diet (2 weeks lost 5lbs) you are an inspiration as I have a long way to go!

    kimmyk said...

    wow 183 pounds...amazing sg!!!

    i know what you mean though about the excess skin-i could use a tummy tuck and a thigh lift but not gonna happen any time soon.

    good for you losing 2 more pounds. i've been at the same weight now for about 18 months. i dont think i'm going anywhere anytime soon.

    Big Pissy said...

    Jenn, you're doing so great!

    I'm sure at times it gets discouraging, but you really are doing so well. :)

    SignGurl said...

    Katie~ I can't imagine that I could inspire you. That is pretty cool!

    Donna~ I thought of you when I was writing this post. I like your way of thinking.

    Yippeeskip~ I hadn't thought of it being normal to be obsessed with food again. I've spent the last year trying to break free and feel so weak now that thoughts are creeping back in.

    I have wanted to watch that program. I've gotta make time.

    Kristen~ It's awesome to see you again!!

    Casdok~ I'm hoping I'm rounding the corner.

    Strumpet~ Mmm...construction workers! You and I always seem to be on the same page. LMAO about the three of us in the dryer.

    Akelamalu~ Awesome job on the weight loss!

    Kimmy~ Pretty cool that you haven't gained in 18 months.

    Pissy~ When I'm discouraged, I need to read back here on the blog and see how far I've come.

    Wirthy said...

    "I still track everything that goes in my mouth." Damn gutter! Why is my mind always there?

    BTExpress said...

    I think it is time to stop focusing on the scale and focusing on how much progress you've made. And to start focusing on the maintenance diet that is soon to come.

    That, and the Giants kicking some Packer ass on Sunday. Even though you never in a million years gave the Giants a chance. I think it's only fair that you wear a Giant's jersey on Super Bowl Sunday like Jillie will be doing.

    Let's go Giants!!!!!!!!!!

    jillie said...

    Not only is it expensive, it's RISKY!

    The incredible shrinking woman strikes again!