Vibrator Races You Say?

The kids celebrated Halloween at school today. Yes, I know that Halloween is officially on Monday. I'm not sure what moron came up with the idea of celebrating it today at school.

Every year I am expected to dress up. The kids at school just expect me to do it. So each year I try to top the one before. Last year I was a Punk. I dyed my hair green and spiked it into a Mohawk. I placed safety pins in my nose and ears and made more safety pin jewelry. I was lookin' hot, NOT. But the kids liked it. (Sidebar here, Hubby and I attended an adult Halloween party and I got trashed. I won a banana eating contest [dressed as the punk]. The rest of the night was spent shooing away drunk men who where in awe of my talent. So my point is that it really doesn't matter what you look like. It's your skills that will get you everywhere.)

This year I broke down and ordered my costume on line (where I have been spending most of my life lately). Hubby and I normally make all of our costumes. I spent $30 extra dollars to get it here in time for the kids party and when I get the damn thing it's the wrong size.

I decide to try it on anyway. I have to smash down the jumblies and then lift them into place to get it on. Wow, I can even zip it. Great, I think I'll wear it until I get the right size. ( I did email the company and they are supposed to overnight me the right size.) This dress is very low cut. So low that my oldest daughter says, "Mom, your nipples are going to pop out". I decide to wear it anyway but make a minor adjustment to the front so the nipples don't play peek-a-boo.

I get the the school and bend over to hug a kid and.......BLAM, the zipper explodes in the back! Ahhhh!!! I have to walk backward while holding the front up to get to my car. Had to change into street clothes and come back with no costume.

Of course, the new costume just came to me. Oh well, I need to wear it to the annual party tomorrow. Which BTW, has vibrator races! Can you believe that? They have even made a track for them. My brother in law made his own super charged racer. He took a DeWalt drill battery and somehow hooked it up to a huge dildo. It even has it's own case! Mwahhahahhah!