I woke up this morning and found something strange. No it wasn't the Italian guy. He's always strange.
I had a bruise on my left breast, a weird hickey like mark on the right side of my neck and I can hardly lift my left arm. I know that Mr. Sign didn't take advantage of me while I was in a coma because he slept downstairs. What happened to me last night?
I think I have been abducted by aliens
. Yeah, that's it. Now I'm afraid to check my orifices for fear that something like a probe has been inserted into my naughty parts. Maybe they did some kind of sexual experiments with me. If I find green goo oozing out of me someplace I'm calling the X-files.
I'm sure this happened to me because I heard some freak on the radio last week and I was making fun of him. He lives somewhere in New York and he makes hats out of plastic and sends them to people who have aliens tapping into their thoughts. He makes them out of the same material that computers are made out of using exactly 7 layers. 6 is not enough and 8 is too many. He has scientifically decided this. He claimed that by wearing the hat, aliens would not be able to communicate with you, therefore, you would not be able to be abducted.
So I have ordered my hat and plan on wearing it to bed. Dead Sexy!
P.S. Mother nature dropped 7 inches of the white stuff (not the sticky kind, hehhehe) last night so the kids have a snow day. My dance worked HEYYAWANNASNOWADAYA HEYYAWANNASNOWADAYA.
I'm still working on the mother in law story for those 2 people that care to finish reading.
Edit~ I just spent 1 1/2 hours blowing the neighbor's and mine. I'm talking about the driveway you pervert!
Friday, December 09, 2005
What Happened?
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21 comments:
Roxi~ Green guys do rock, don't they? And cool pic!
Laurie~I secretly like snow days 'cause I don't have to drag the girls to 2 different schools and them pick them up later.
Rob~You know, come the think of it (I just said come *snicker*), there was this one guy in particualar that I'm starting to remember......hrmmmm......
left, I thought the hickey was on your right breast...oops!..lol
I hope YOUR snowdance works..LOL
later,
tc
Bet your neighbor appreciated the "blow job"! :)
Were you watching "X-Files" before you went to bed or something????
Got poked and prodded? Hmmm.... can you send them my way? My bed has absolutely no activity. *sigh*
Jay~Those people are why I live in the North.
Gigi~Yes, I am. ;-)
TC~Oops, my bad, it is!
Big Pissy~My neighbor LOVES it when I blow him! and no, I haven't seen the X-Files in a long time. I'm sure it was the idiot on the radio that made me think of this. Hmmm...maybe he sent them because I was laughing at him.
Jen~So far no green stuff or anal probes have popped out.
Deb~If I see him tonight I'll send him toward New York. Sorry about the bed situation.
Yeah umm...sorry. That was me.
Green ooze, oh my. You know I have had this sore sholder lately for no reason and this ... well I would rather not go into it. No probes yet that I am aware of (thank goodness) but you never know. Maybe I am being visited too.
The truth is out there.
Ha! I'm tagging you with the malicious Seven Sevens Thingy! Tag, you're it!
Ha!
the idiot
Pantylines~Keep rubbing it in. About the weather I mean, but feel free to rub other stuff.
Calzone~I have informed my husband that I will be leaving him for you.
Barman~Glad you haven't found any probes. Those things will scare you.
Idiot~Do I know you?
Ewwwww snow! Heck, I'd rather blow the neighbors for 1 1/2 hours than deal with snow!!! Who knows... maybe the aliens & their probes would even be better!
OMG!!! What in the hell are you doing in your sleep??????? That will teach you to make fun of freaks huh? hahahahh...and I am one of the 2 people who are interested in the MIL story k?
Whoa baby...not so fast. You know I love you but I need some time to figure this out. Why don't we keep fooling around and you keep loaning me money for a while.
Jenn, I kept getting bruises in strange places without explanation a couple of months ago.
Alex posted about the "sexual injury fairy", who gives you bruises of unspecified origin.
Has he been to visit you too? LOL.
Lara~Just enjoy the white stuff, and the snow too.
WMY~Thanks for admitting you are one of the two.
Calzone~I never knew I could have feelings for a dragon. I guess after you admitted it was you in my bed I was hooked. You obviously rocked my world. I just wish I was sober at the time and could remember it.
Suze~Keep the fairies in the UK please. I don't need any more problems.
You were so wasted baby. I put your panties on your head and everything.
I wondered how that happened. I forgot to mention it mostly because I was embarrassed by being drunk off my ass (again). Next time be sure to roll me over and tuck me in nicely, ok?
it wasn't me ... unfortunately. I was at a party with a couple hundred people as witnesses ;)
Dzer~If only Guam weren't so far away, *sigh*.
My driveway is clear, but I could sure use a blowjob
How does your butt feel? Does your butt hurt? Cuz if your BUTT hurts, you have so TOTALLY been visited by the ay-lee-ums. Word!
Oh, and that guy in New York is full of shit. Those hats only work if they're made out of foil! Sheesh.
;)
Jon~sorry but I'm really tired. I just had to blow everyone again 'cause we got more. Hehehehe.
Michelle~My butt's feeling right perky today. Much better since I crapped out that huge satellite just like Cartman did on South Park.
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