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    Tuesday, January 31, 2006

    8 Attributes Of A Perfect Partner

    Jay tagged me with this.

    Here's my list of the 8 attributes of a perfect partner:

    1. He must not fart while near me especially while in tight quarters such as the car or while having sex.

    2. He must not belch near me unless we are having a contest which I will always win.

    3. If he has excessive body hair he must have it removed by someone other than me.

    4. He must shower daily sometimes twice if I deem it necessary.

    5. He must remove all body hair left on the bar of soap.

    6. He must not clip his toenails onto the floor.

    7. He must brush his teeth at least twice a day.

    8. He must tell me how beautiful I am no matter how painful it is.

    Pretty tough to be my man, huh?


    Chrissie said...

    I wish I could belch on command :o/


    nosouthernbelle said...

    Nah, not too bad!

    Big Pissy said...

    not bad at all!

    Gary said...

    To make sure there's never any hair on the soap, make him use liquid soap.

    SignGurl said...

    Chrissie~Finally! Someone admires my talent!

    Belle & Pissy~It's bad, believe me.

    Gary~Liquid soap is for hands in my house. Bar soap is for the bootay!

    scumbag said...

    there's been so much taggin' lately that i think blogger went straight mexican. ha ha, just kidding, we all know puerto ricans do all the tagging.

    SignGurl said...

    Scumbag~What happened to the Cap'n? Mmmm...Puerto Ricans can tag my ass anytime.

    sassinak said...

    you know what? *I* couldn't date you


    barman said...

    Well if I work at it real, real hard...

    Hey, number 8 just goes without saying silly.

    Madame X said...

    Are you MAD?!?!?!

    No such man exists!

    The worse, the absolute worse is him farting while getting a blow job.


    SignGurl said...

    Sass~You know, I wrote this as a joke. I thought it would be a funny response to everyone else's well thought out memes. I'm a little sad that you can't date me :-(

    Bar~Keep up on the oral health and you're on your way!

    Jay said...

    Excellent post!

    Forget the sappy stuff. These are great, true attributes!

    Loved it!

    Quazirob said...

    Got nair!

    SignGurl said...

    Jay~Finally, someone gets me!

    Rob~Get it, got it, good!

    da buttah said...

    i agree on the body hair

    nothing like feeling like you're nuzzling with a goddamn bear


    DZER said...

    at one point in my life, I could belch "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

    My entire family can belch on command, even the chicks. This surprises many people. What can I say? We're gifted!

    *has such light body hair it's almost non-existent*

    SignGurl said...

    Buttah~ There's just something unattractive about having body hair up your nose.

    DZER~ My sister and I are both gifted with the belch on command. She can burp the alphabet. I love a man with little to no body hair. *Sigh*

    MamaKBear said...

    LOL...I got tagged with this too...posted it today.

    Jay said...

    I'm laughing because my 6 year-old daughter has already perfected her belch-on-command with an improv performance on Christmas Eve in front of my whole family (who hasn't seen her in 2 years)!

    She announced that she can burp the alphabet and then proceeded to do so. Needless to say, she had the whole room rolling!

    Boy, that girl sure knows how to make her daddy proud!

    Top cat said...

    geeeeesh!!!!! you're no fun!
    (just kiddin)