The Things We Do For Love

Mr. Sign is half Italian (Sicilian) and half Romanian. This makes for a hairy fellow. I started cutting his hair before daughter #1 was born almost 14 years ago. We had bought a new set of hair clippers and I tried them out on him. I've done a great job except for the few times that I boxed the hair around his ears.
At some point, the hair on his back became more than I could bare. I don't know when or how this happened because I swear that he wasn't that hairy when I married him. I got the bright idea to use the clippers to trim the wild hairy back. The clippers do a good job but leave stubble. At least it looks better.

As you can imagine that someone who has excessive back hair must be that wooly everywhere. If you think back hair is gross, surmise what ass hair must be. One day the clippers just happened to slip below the belt. I asked him to bend over and as he did I yelled, "BINGO!" I had to stop for a minute and compose myself. I also trim up the chest area and the underarms. If I didn't, I fear it would grow long enough to braid. Someone should tell Alec Baldwin about body hair trimming. Doesn't that look like a rug on his chest? And yet he has little to no hair on his upper arms? Weird.

You may be asking why I don't wax Mr. Sign's back. I'm glad you asked. We tried to wax it once. I heated up the wax to the perfect temperature and slathered it onto that area just above his ass. You know, the hairy patch. It was kinda sticky but it's supposed to be, right? I got out the strip and smoothed it over the waxed area, held down the surrounding skin and pulled it off quickly. Mr. Sign screamed like a little girl falling on the bar on a boy's bicycle. I called him a sissy before I looked at the strip. I was checking out the newfound smoothness and noticed that most of the hair was still there only there was blood pooling at the shaft of each little hair. Upon examining the strip I see that there is more skin than hair on it. YEEEOUCH!!!!! The stupid part is that he wanted me to continue. He's that desperate to be hairless. I threw the rest of the wax away.

I feel really bad because people are really rude about excessive hair. It's not like he can help it. At least he is trying not to disgust you. Something people don't take into account is that having all that hair on your body makes you feel hot and sticky all the time. You can't escape the heat since the folicles seem to hold in the heat.

I get really sick of cutting everyone's hair in my house. Mr. Sign threatens to get it cut in a salon. I told him, "Go ahead. When you're there pull your pants down, bend over and ask them if they can help you with that."

So, ladies and gentleman, I'm doing you a service by keeping my man well groomed. I ask everyone to do the same.