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    Friday, September 29, 2006

    Frustrated! Part 1

    I'm not sexually frustrated you perv!

    Even though I know you are as sick as I am of hearing about it, here is a weight loss surgery recap:

    • I've always been a big girl. I remember feeling like I was fat. I don't know why I felt that way, I just did. I look back at picutes and realize that my weight wasn't that far from normal. As a teen I wore a size 12 which was unheard of then. I couldn't find cute clothes so I had to settle for old lady stuff. Luckily when I began working in the mall at 15, I was able to find some more current fashions. I worked really hard at being nice and funny so people would accept me and like me.
    • I remained happy and even found someone (after high school) who accepted me for who I was and actually liked me (thanks Mr. Sign).
    • Immediately upon finding out I was pregnant I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis gravidarum {(HG) is a rare disorder characterized by severe and persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy that may necessitate hospitalization. As a result of frequent nausea and vomiting, affected women experience dehydration, vitamin and mineral deficit, and the loss of greater than five percent of their original body weight.}. I literally did not eat or drink for 2 weeks before I was hospitalized. If I looked at food (even on TV) I would vomit even up to 7 times an hour. I lost 48 pounds with the first pregnancy and 42 with the second. I didn't begin to gain weight until after our first daughter was born. I believe it was in response to being deprived of food for 9 months. Once I could eat, I ate with reckless abandon and never stopped.
    • I continued on with my life rarely thinking about taking care of myself. I was preocuppied, like most young mothers, with taking care of my family. I gained more weight.
    • I started thinking about having the surgery about 3 years ago and decided that it wasn't the right time for me. I wanted to try yet again to lose my ass shelf on my own. I made 2 very good attempts at the Atkins Diet losing 72 pounds the first go round and 48 the second. Until recently I had kept 30 pounds off. Sugar was my evil enemy. The only problem was that when I started eating a little sugar again, I found I had no control over my consumption.
    • Hearing stories of weight loss surgery only made me focus on the negative aspects. I told myself that surgery was the easy way out. I know now that I was secretly jealous as I knew I was not ready to give up my precious sugar.
    • About a year ago I started to seriously research weight loss surgery. I watched a close family friend have the surgery. I began asking her questions and she let me have the good, the bad and the pukey.
    • In May 2006, Mr. Sign (he's having the surgery too) and I attended a weight loss surgery seminar. We were amazed at the number of people there. Some looked like us and others had to be wheeled into the room in ginormous wheel chairs.
    • The day after the seminar we got calls from the medical facility to set up our appointments with the surgeon, behaviorist, and internist within the next 2 weeks. The scheduler told me that I would probably be scheduled for surgery by the end of June. I was ecstatic to think I would be on the road to better health soon.
    • I had been cautious and called the insurance company to find out the requirements for approval. All you needed for our plan was to prove that you had been obese for 5 or more years and a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 40% or more. I had both of those things in the bag.
    • Our last appointment was with the internist who is a woman. She seemed very cold compared to everyone else. The first thing she said after asking my profession was that I would be denied by the insurance company. I think she thought that I had bad insurance based on my profession. She thought signs were still hand painted. DUH! I cried all the way home thinking about rejection.
    This is getting pretty lengthy so I will make it two parts. I have been wondering if I should start a separate weight loss surgery blog. What do you think?


    Nonny said...

    I don't think you should start a second blog just to discuss this issue. I find it fascinating and love the fact that we've been with you every step of the way. :)

    kimmyk said...

    I don't think you should start a seperate blog for your surgery either. It's part of your everyday life the struggle of getting approval and then when IT DOES happen-you'll want to share all the good things [and the bad] with someone/anyone. I say keep on keepin' on!

    jillie said...

    1st I would find a new Internest. Find a Dr. that YOU feel comfortable with. That was horrible of her to make you feel like that. You hang in there and don't give up!

    The Savage said...

    The internest need surgery of her own... an a rectal occulectory... to remove her shitty outlook

    Anonymous said...

    i'm with nonny and kimmyk. you don't need to start a second blog.

    and yeah, a new internist is a really good idea...

    Big Pissy said...

    I agree with all the other comments.

    Absolutely find another internist!!!

    cadbury_vw said...

    one blog, different internist

    the story of your weight loss surgery is integral to your life

    keep it here

    Manny said...

    A second blog? No!

    This is you sweetie. Your life.

    I only wish I could help in some way.

    Chrissie said...

    I dont think you need a new blog either.. I like hearing about this... well. NOT like... I'd LIKE to hear that you've made it through all the hoops and have been approved.

    Suze said...

    Jenn, you don't need to start a weight loss journal. It's part of your life and should be covered here.

    I can't believe this has been going on so long. You must have the patience of a saint.

    I hope you hear something soon.

    MilkMaid said...

    Such smart peeps before me, new internist and same blog. This is you, all of who you are. What a journey you have aleady been thru.

    gab said...

    You dont need to start second blog to talk about whats bothering you. I have thought about getting the surgery done too, but have had so many other surgeries Im not ready for that one even for my health. not yet. Good luck I hope it all comes together for you soon. Sorry you had to deal with such a cold person. she must have gotten out of bed on the wrong side.

    buddha_girl said...

    It's part of you. This blog is about YOU. It's here. Continue.

    *hard hugs*

    Kristen said...

    You don't need another blog to write about yourself......this is for you

    I'm sending positive thoughts your way