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    Thursday, September 14, 2006

    Stuck In The Middle

    This week has been hectic. We've had something going on every night this week. Adding to my stress today was an issue that came up at school.

    I've not really let you all know exactly how involved I am at the school, but I'm going to let you in on the fact that I am and have been the PTA president for many years at one of the elementary schools in our area. I know many of you think of PTA moms as stuck up country club women wearing their pearls sitting around judging other moms. This is so not the case in our PTA. We are all working moms and dads who are all down to Earth. Many are single moms and dads who still choose to help out at their child's school despite their limited time. Hell, we even have some drunk ass parties (without the kids, of course).

    Back to my issue. Monday night was our first meeting. One of the teachers I'm close with brought up an issue about our school not having a reading teacher this year. She told parents to write a letter to the district. We have a new principal, our 6th in eight years. The day after the meeting the principal called me into her office and shut the door. She wanted to know how I thought the meeting had gone. I told her it had gone well. She asked what I thought about the question the teacher asked. I said that I thought that it probably wasn't the right time or place but I understood that sometimes circumstances don't allow for issues to take the correct avenues. We chatted about some other issues and I was happily on my way.

    This morning at work I got a call from my friend, the teacher, stating that she was told by the principal that she had really upset me by her comment during the meeting. She profusely apologized as I assured her that I was not upset but that I did feel that it wasn't the right time. I told her that I would have come to her if I had been upset. I told her that there was no harm done and hung up.

    I stewed all day about the whole thing. The principal was using me in her quest to control the teachers by putting me in the middle of their issues. I felt really bad for my friend and didn't want her to be in trouble for upsetting me. I also didn't want the principal to think I was going to play her in between game. I decided to tell her that I was not upset with the teacher.

    Long story short (too late), I talked to both and both are saying the other is lying. I told them both that I didn't want to be in the middle of their obvious issues. I don't know who to believe and really I don't care to deal with either person right now.

    I have no idea why either of these women decided that I need to be on their "side". Ugh! Women! I hate confrontation but hopefully my chats today let both of them know that I won't be a pawn in their game.


    cadbury_vw said...

    i completely hear you. i am actively involved at the school and there is usually some issue or other floating around.

    i'm glad your PTA group is good. ours usually has some spat going on that mirrors the classroom politics of the kids

    it's a serious "grow up" moment

    i sure hope the situation just withers and doesn't turn into something dumb

    cadbury_vw said...

    BTW - did i mention you look very pretty in your profile picture?

    'cause you do!

    Chrissie said...

    UGh. I wonder whos lying though LOL i'd be all into solving the mystery!

    I was PTA Treasurer for 4 years at one school and 2 years at a new school and auditor for 3 more.

    hey your formatting is a little wacky if viewed in IE.. i believe the pic you put there... which cadbury is right, you look so cute in... is a tad too big... cut off about 15 pixels of the black, make it a bit more square and it would be puuurfect. *smooch* yea thats right. *smooch* LOL

    DZER said...

    sorry you haven't been feeling well ... and it sucks that both of them are trying to put you in the middle like that.

    I also vote for your cuteness and see Chrissie's *smooch* with one of my own ... *smooch*

    barman said...

    I am glad to see the picture on your page again. Yea.

    In the middle is not a good place to be. Doesn't it make you feel like saying children can we just get along? I hope this is all settled now.

    American Navel said...

    unfortunately you might end up having to the be parent in this PTA debacle and tell the squabbling principal and teacher to go on a timeout.

    SignGurl said...

    Cadbury~ I hope it doesen't become something dumb too.

    Cadbury v.2~ Thanks so much!

    Chrissie~ You're such a good mommy! I'll try to work on the formatting this weekend. It's weird because it seems fine when I view it in both IE and Firefox.

    DZER~ thanks for the smooch. I needed it.

    Barman~ I did tell both parties that I didn't want to be in the middle of their squabble.

    Navel~ That's brilliant! I'm going to tell them both today to go to timeout.

    buddha_girl said...

    I am thoroughly embarassed by this debacle at the school. My profession, sadly, is filled with adults who are actually snotty-assed children in big bodies.

    No matter WHO is lying, they're both at fault. Professionals, especially in the educational profession, should NEVER attempt to drag a parent into the mix in order to satisfy their agendas.

    The teacher, although well-meaning, in my opinion should never have given her two cents about the reading teacher situation in such a meeting.

    The absence of a specialist is a touchy situation that cannot be solved by trying to rally troupes. Financial allocations, Title I funds, student projections, and even district lines are the deciding factors.

    Poor you. Glad you remained the adults while the other two continued to squabble!

    gab said...

    I too was a PTA mom.(when my kids were little) My problem was on a much larger scale. I was doing a room to room chart to see how many of the kids parents had joined PTA. it seemed that in the years before me no one was involved in PTA at this school. So I went into my sons room and there was no teacher in there and 32 children running amuck. I asked my son where the teacher was and he said I dunno. I asked what they were suppose to be doing and he said music. I opened the door and looked up and down the halls trying to find someone to control these children. Long story short when the regular teacher finally came back(an hour later)and found me there trying to get 32 kids to stop jumping off every thing she looked at me and accused where is the music teacher what did you do with her? WTF! well after a few calls to the office we learned that the music teacher had called in sick,the sub teacher was in a wrong room and this teacher spent the whole hour in the teachers lounge. All I did was make sure no one got hurt. But I got yelled at for letting the kids mess up the room as badly as they did. Now that was just the tip of the ice burg...this teacher couldnt spell simple words like "two" all the kids spelled it correctly but she marked all their papers wrong and put in big red ink "TWE". another round with the principle who stood up for the teacher both times and I yanked my son from that school and put him in a Luthern school(which turned out worse) I was so upset that I never got involved again with in the school system as I felt like a fish out of water. I found out that that teacher and the princile were the reasons why no one was in PTA in the years before me. What a lesson!

    Swampwitch said...

    Depending on if this type behavior between the two "adults?" continues, putting you in the middle would determine if I called a meeting with both present. Let them explain how they saw the situation.Sometimes educators lose sight of the fact that it's the children who we're there to help because their egos tend to get in the way.
    ...and sounds as though your school may be looking for its 7th principal soon.

    Suze said...

    Jenn, I totally agree with you. Don't be dragged in to their stupid games.

    It sounds like they both need to spend less time in school and grow up. LOL