SignGurl, DVM (or Dr. SignGurl)

I work for my parents in their sign shop that is 100 feet from their house. Life in the shop includes dealing with their dog on a daily basis. She's a 10 year old weimaraner that has a mind of her own.

A couple of months ago, her ear filled up with fluid and became fat. She was taken to the vet who lanced it and placed a drain. The fluid was blood caused by the shaking of her head (the force burst a blood vessel and there was nowhere for the fluid to go). The charge was $150 dollars + a $25 recheck fee.

Recently, her other ear became enlarged so much that her head was tilted because of the weight of the fluid.

My stepfather wanted me to try and lance it. I have been know to do a "surgical procedure" or two on family members and friends. I even took stitches out of my own face. I wasn't sure I was up to this task.

After an hour of watching the poor dog with the off balanced head, I decided to give it a go. I gloved up and began sterilizing a new Exacto knife and then her ear. My stepdad muzzled her (I told him if she bit me I wouldn't be able to work) and then held her down on the floor. The knife cut easily into the ear and immediately began to spew blood like a faucet. The blood continued to exit for over a minute. The ear was now flat again.

I cleaned up the dog and placed a large bandaid over her ear. I was feeling quite proud and said, "I should have been a veteranarian because I'm so good." As soon as I said that, the dog shook her head and blood sprayed all of us.

I then said, "Maybe I'm not quite ready yet since your dog looks like Cujo (because of all the blood everywhere)."

We ended up placing gauze over the small cut and then using two ace bandages to immobilize her ear so she could not shake it.

Unfortunately, the ear has filled back up.

I have devised a new plan to make a new cut, place a straw that has been modified (making it short with small v's cut into it to keep it inside the cut), and a balloon will be placed over the end of the straw. I realize that the balloon won't blow up but it will catch all the drainage. The vet didn't use anything to catch the drainage so the fluid was everywhere for two weeks.

I took Mr. Sign back to the hospital yesterday to have his Vena Cava filter removed. I told him I was up to trying to fish it out. He yelled, "I'M NOT A DOG!"

And I was so ready to do it, LMAO.