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    Saturday, January 13, 2007

    SignGurl, DVM (or Dr. SignGurl)

    I work for my parents in their sign shop that is 100 feet from their house. Life in the shop includes dealing with their dog on a daily basis. She's a 10 year old weimaraner that has a mind of her own.

    A couple of months ago, her ear filled up with fluid and became fat. She was taken to the vet who lanced it and placed a drain. The fluid was blood caused by the shaking of her head (the force burst a blood vessel and there was nowhere for the fluid to go). The charge was $150 dollars + a $25 recheck fee.

    Recently, her other ear became enlarged so much that her head was tilted because of the weight of the fluid.

    My stepfather wanted me to try and lance it. I have been know to do a "surgical procedure" or two on family members and friends. I even took stitches out of my own face. I wasn't sure I was up to this task.

    After an hour of watching the poor dog with the off balanced head, I decided to give it a go. I gloved up and began sterilizing a new Exacto knife and then her ear. My stepdad muzzled her (I told him if she bit me I wouldn't be able to work) and then held her down on the floor. The knife cut easily into the ear and immediately began to spew blood like a faucet. The blood continued to exit for over a minute. The ear was now flat again.

    I cleaned up the dog and placed a large bandaid over her ear. I was feeling quite proud and said, "I should have been a veteranarian because I'm so good." As soon as I said that, the dog shook her head and blood sprayed all of us.

    I then said, "Maybe I'm not quite ready yet since your dog looks like Cujo (because of all the blood everywhere)."

    We ended up placing gauze over the small cut and then using two ace bandages to immobilize her ear so she could not shake it.

    Unfortunately, the ear has filled back up.

    I have devised a new plan to make a new cut, place a straw that has been modified (making it short with small v's cut into it to keep it inside the cut), and a balloon will be placed over the end of the straw. I realize that the balloon won't blow up but it will catch all the drainage. The vet didn't use anything to catch the drainage so the fluid was everywhere for two weeks.

    I took Mr. Sign back to the hospital yesterday to have his Vena Cava filter removed. I told him I was up to trying to fish it out. He yelled, "I'M NOT A DOG!"

    And I was so ready to do it, LMAO.

    17 comments:

    Anonymous said...

    Dr. Jenn? I got this boil.......

    SignGurl said...

    G-Man~ Com'ere. I've got my scalpal ready......

    barman said...

    SignGurl, M.A.D. LOL

    I love it and love Mr Signs reaction too. Way to funny or should that be priceless. Boy if you are a doctor now, that should mean a big pay increase!

    SignGurl said...

    Barman~ Funny you should mention a raise, 'cause I got a $2 one for this year. He gave it to me after the surgery, ha!

    Anonymous said...

    LMAO...I love the story! The dogs are beautiful, and so sweet of you to help the poor baby!

    Anonymous said...

    that's really good of you to do that for the dog and for your stepfather.

    an awful lot of people wouldn't have the chutzpah to do that

    Anonymous said...

    I always thought a great Hollywood name would be..
    Lance Boyle.

    buddha_girl said...

    I think I'm gonna puke. *ack*

    (On another note, VERY creative use of the straw!)

    MilkMaid said...

    Awwww, poor pup!

    I removed a fish hook from Kissy Kat's mouth once. We had NO money and I had to do it, not so bad. For me anyway. Kissy, ran to the woods for two days and came home all ok with everything.

    You'd have used a new exacto on Mr Sign, right? I mean, what else could be the big deal? LOL...you are funny...

    Anonymous said...

    Ewwww Twiggy, that was the single most grossest post I've ever read. You should get a walk on on Grey's Anatomy for the dog surgery.

    Anonymous said...

    Mornin Sign, drain anything today already?

    kimmyk said...

    OMG your husbands comment made me laugh so hard I snorted. Too damn funny!

    How is the dog?

    JMai said...

    You're braver than I. I can barely deal with my OWN blood.

    Anonymous said...

    LOL! Great story! I loved your husband's reaction.

    david santos said...

    hELO!
    Very nice.
    Tank you.

    Kristen said...

    This just makes me want a puppy even more

    Anonymous said...

    Is the Dr. in today?