Super Bowl XLI

Football is not one of my favorite sports. Maybe it's because I don't have a clue about how it's played. Despite this, I still watched the Super Bowl.

Commercials weren't the reason I watched, the halftime show was. Prince rocked the stadium! I don't care how much you say you don't like him, you have to admit that he is one of the most talented musicians.

I became obsessed with him when I was 13 years old. His music spoke to me in a way that I'd never heard. He was a drummer marching to his own beat.

I got to go see Purple Rain on my sixteenth birthday. I can remember imagining myself as his love interest. There's just something about a mysterious man! He looks like he would give you the best sex of your life. Then you would open your eyes and he would be standing across the room completely dressed.

My sister and I went to see him in concert in 1988. He played for three and a half hours without a break. Sheila E was his drummer then. The two of them together were magical.

Two years ago, Mr. Sign surprised me on Mother's Day with a pair of tickets to his Musicology tour. I actually cried when I opened them. It brought back memories of my youth. My mind went immediately to wanting to take my sister with me instead of Mr. Sign. He didn't wait for me to ask. He told me it would be ok to take my sister since we had gone so many years before together. We were excited because we thought the seats were going to be great.

We saw him at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. Mr. Sign, my brother in law and some other guys decided to drop us off so they could cross the border into Canada to enjoy some, stripper...ahem, dancers.

There was so much traffic that we couldn't get over to the arena but we could see it. Mr. Sign stopped the car in the middle of traffic and told us to run. It had just started to rain. As we walked, it became a torrential downpour. It was like standing under Niagra Falls.

I had decided to wear this cute black dress that was quite long with strappy black sandals. What I neglected to realize was that the dress would become longer when it got wet. By the time we reached the door, it was a foot too long. My feet were sliding around inside the strappy sandals so I could hardly walk.

Security guards were checking for weapons at the door and only allowing one person at a time in. Hundreds were waiting to get in. There were several women who had spent hundreds of dollars getting their hair "did" and they were getting poured on so we let them go ahead of us.

We finally made it into the building and I walked through a giant puddle of water. I was soaked so I figured it didn't matter much. As soon as I got to the other side of the puddle, an usher pointed out that I had just walked through the run off from the men's bathroom.

Um....ewwww.....I had raw sewage on my bare feet and sandals. I was ready to vomit but decided to make the best of things because after all, I was about to see my favorite artist perform.

We pulled out our tickets and the usher pointed to the very top of the arena. I thought, "You have got to be f*&#ing kidding me!" I held up my dress and tramped the mile up the narrow stairs that had no railing. Had I fallen, I would have crashed ass over tea kettle all the way down to the floor.

Our seats were at the very top (last row, think above nosebleed). We looked like wet rats. I had toilet water on my bare feet and they were itching from the thought of it. My dress was hanging lower than an old prostitutes hoo ha.

We had to sit by some of the most obnoxious people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. To top it all off, Prince was 2 hours late. *sigh*

All was forgiven and forgotten when he went on to give the greatest show I had ever seen.

My sister and I were breathless after the concert. We left the arena only to realize that the boys weren't there to pick us up. After almost being tossed out of several bars, it seemed that they had been stopped going through customs.

We had to wait with the homeless people on the street as well as deformed pigeons and rats. Only a couple of them approached us but soon left when they saw the shape we were in.

We did make it home that night but it was more like the next morning (4 am).