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    Monday, March 05, 2007

    Blogging Relationships

    Have you ever tried to explain the kinship we have here in blog land to someone that doesn't blog? It's nearly impossible as far as I can tell.

    I've had the pleasure of talking on the phone to some of you and even meeting others. For some reason when you tell people that you met someone on-line, they look at you like you are some desperate friendless freak. Non blogging people can't imagine how you could have a friendship on-line.

    One of the first hurdles I had to overcome here was convincing Mr. Sign to be ok with me meeting some bloggers last year. He was convinced that I was going to run away with someone and never return. I had to explain the reason for wanting to meet people to him. I likened it to having a pen pal. Wouldn't you want to meet your pen pal if you had the chance? He relented but kept his jealous attitude.

    The Michigan Bloggers are planning another meeting in April and I find myself again, trying not to talk too much about the people that are coming to people I know in real life. They just don't get it.

    Most people at least have their co-workers to talk to on a daily basis. Time at my job is spent mostly alone so I don't have that contact. Blogging has really filled that void for me. I feel closer to some of you than I do to some of my "real" life friends. You know things about me that no one else does. Try explaining that to a jealous husband.

    I know I'm not the only one who is experiencing this. Let me know if your spouse or significant other feels jealousy not only about the people, but the time you spend talking to your blogger friends.

    22 comments:

    Dana said...

    Take that, G-man! I'm first this time! :P

    I have yet to meet any of the blogger friends I've made, would really like to someday. BTExpress is gonna be pretty close to my neck of the woods in the near future, I'm hoping he might make a 3 hr detour.

    Fortunately, I don't have a jealous hubby, but he understandably gets concerned about my safety. He pretty much trusts my instincts though.

    terry said...

    you're so right, about how hard it is to explain to the non-bloggers in our lives. it does sound weird.

    and honestly, when i started blogging, i never expected to find connections with so many people online, but they're there, and they're real. and it's great when you get to meet in person!

    G-Man said...

    Dana your on my list!!!!

    Every time that i'm on the computer and my wife walks by she very sarcastically says "blogging again, all you do is blog". Then I say you can blog too, thats when she turns and walks away....Great!!!

    The Savage said...

    A tattoo analogy comes to mind...
    For those that understand no explination is needed...
    For those who do not understand no explination is possible...

    barman said...

    Very few people I have seen blogging share much of anything about blogging with their significant others. Not having a significant other I have tried to explain it to a few friends and family and no one understands it. My Mom worries when I meet someone. I try to explain that I have know anyone that I do meet up with for some time and I am still cautious but that does not make a difference. So basically I have stopped talking about it with people.

    Having met Mr Sign I still have a hard time seeing him as jealous. He is such a super person but I sure understand. It worries me the few women I have come somewhat close with that their significant could have a problem. They do not have anything to worry about with me but try and tell them that.

    Oh and Dana, should you get a chance definitely find a way to meet with BTE and Lori. I have not met Lori in person but I know BTE is a wonderful person and I believe the same can be said about Lori.

    buddha_girl said...

    I think you have hit something on the mark with this post. Too many people liken the internet with pedophiles or other criminals.

    My HG can have a jealous streak but had to finally accept that my hiney isn't going anywhere. Like dana, he gets concerned for my safety and trusts NO ONE around me but also knows that I don't allow people to tread on me. It's a fine line - the online relationships some people develop can be unhealthy if they're not held in check.

    Top cat said...

    I've met many wonderful, great people through blogging and I value our friendships as much or more than offline friends.
    We have a great group of people here something which I don't think exists in all blogging communities.
    My wife knows about my blogging but it's something we don't discuss much.
    Sometimes if I read something interesting or someone is going through some rough times I will share with her their story.
    I try to split my time between blogging and time with her.
    I usually sign off by 8Pm and reserve Friday night and Sundays so we can have time together.
    tc

    Sal said...

    Haven’t met any bloggers yet but hope to soon!

    I agree people just don’t get it. I like the “Pen Pal” analogy.

    Would love to chat with you on the phone one day.

    jillie said...

    My significant other does NOT understand this stuff. He thinks it's full of perferts trying to pick up people.

    I told him yeah, I know I am but I'm not trying to pick up on people...LMAO.

    He's a weirdo that just can't understand. He doesn't see outside the box sometimes. I tell ya...I've had more fun on here and being able to tell you guys stuff and to blow steam and laugh...it's all good.

    Non-bloggers...what to they know?

    cadbury_vw said...

    damn blogger eating my brilliant comment!

    ----

    my ex-wife thought the online world was fine as long as it was limited to computer nerd stuff.

    i had been doing bulletin boards and online stuff since before she met me.

    as soon as it moved from computer/internet/linux stuff she reacted strongly. expecially when i developed the circle of support i have here. she did not know where my posts were - i told her it was an online marriage bulletin board (white lie)... anyway, she tried to stop it in the same way as she tried to cut off my access to my family and friends - to isolate me from support.

    ----

    i have been open with my current significant other.

    she doesn't know much about the online/blogging world but treats it in the same manner as me talking about friends she doesn't know from work.

    she is quite supportive of it as an outlet - especially dealing with issues related to my marital breakdown.

    i will talk about bloggers and their posts and them as real people and she is good with the inclusion in normal conversation. i will read posts out loud and sometimes email them. sometimes when she asks me about how i feel on some issue i will read her an excerpt straight from my own blog.

    Crabby said...

    YES! I have all kinds of trouble trying to make non-bloggers understand how you can be friends with folks you met on-line. It's just about impossible.

    You sort of end up with real world people and blog people and honestly it's mostly the fault of the real world people.

    Bob is on and off with this. He's gotten to accept Milky very well. But we've been together forever. He is accepting of Barman now and I talk about you enough that he's starting to believe you're real. LOL! It's goofy, you know?

    I keep saying...who do you suppose is clickin the computer keys if it isn't a real person.

    I don't think Bob gets jealous much. Course, I'm pretty thick headed...he could be and I wouldn't know it. LOL!

    BTExpress said...

    SignGurl - I'd really like to come to the party, but alas, Lori and I will be in Texas then. DAMMIT!

    I got the same reaction from people that don't blog.

    Dana - I wish I could make the drive north, but time is not on my side. Maybe we could meet half way?

    Barman - Your too kind my friend. It was all my pleasure meeting you. When you making your way east for a visit?

    Jillie - You weren't suppose to tell your significant other about me. Now he definitely thinks all bloggers are pervs. ;-)

    tkkerouac said...

    I totally hear you.
    My boyfriend and girlfriends tell me I'm neglecting them and chose to blog over them.
    The truth is, this seems more exciting for the time being. Is that a bad thing?

    jillie said...

    BTE...not to worry...your secret is safe with me because I never told him that I do the blogging thing. I asked him how he felt about it and he just "lectured" forever about it.

    So...I just kept my mouth shut because this is my release, my escape and to be perfectly honest, I don't want him a part of it.

    So there...your mine mine mine...ALL MINE!

    wmy said...

    Oh yeah sister...I can relate! A short while after I started blogging, the love bud went on a bit of a rampage about all the time I was spending with people"you do not even fucking know!!) There is a certain comfort being able to tell things to those who are not in your immediate life. To those who do not understand...oh well. I am so glad I met you. I even talk about you with my best friend...she had the surgery also. She did give me a bit of a look when I said I knew you from online...whatever!
    Have a great night k?

    wmy said...

    And to dana...I am bowing down right now...It is pretty damn hard to beat G-man to the first comment. He must have been out "playing a tape"**! hahahahahahah

    **His post on his blog will explain this

    No One In Particular said...

    I have to have this convo with my S.O. soon. I'm in Dallas, where I will be meeting BTE & others. I know hub won't understand - ugh!!!

    How do I even begin telling about it?

    kimmyk said...

    Jamie doesn't care who I meet or where I go to meet them. I've asked him to go to Seattle with me this year when I meet a bunch of girls, but he won't go.

    I don't try to explain it to anyone outside of my close personal friends, because they never understand anything that involves "internet and friends". It's still "too weird".

    Big Pissy said...

    terry summed it up for me perfectly!

    Sweet Man doesn't have a problem with me emailing and talking on the phone with my blog buddies. I've only ever met one in person.

    I'd love to meet everyone on my blog roll! :)

    Susan said...

    I'm odd gal out here. My DH gets it - but he has his own poetry blogs. He also respects the support I get postsurgically from all my WLS buddies.

    *S*

    EBEZP said...

    Most of you guys that I call friends all seem to be 'over the pond' which is great. WKD is strictly a non blogger and like others mentioned here doesn't understand why. She's seen some pics of people and to be able to say oh they're in canada or america is fine.
    However made the mistake of showing her an interesting thing on a friends blog and it said from Hastings, Sussex. I thought you said they were all from N. America!
    Here we go again!!

    Really like the blog
    I'll be back.....as long as you don't move to Liverpool LOL
    Feel safe to visit me after all I'm thousands of miles away!

    The Kept Woman said...

    Totally.

    I start to explain it and sound like a completel geek. I gave up because if I tell them I have a blog they'll find me and then I can't talk about them anymore.

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :)