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    Thursday, May 17, 2007

    Sleep Is Sacred

    Have I mentioned that I'm a single parent/bachelorette this week? Mr. Sign left Sunday morning for Phoenix. It's strange, but since he works 60-70 hours a week anyway, things don't seem too different. It seems that lately we only pass each other as I get up and he's on his way out the door to go to the gym. I miss having an adult to talk to. The girls wear me out with their constant chatter.

    Since Mr. Sign has been away, I've had a leak in my air mattress. Here is an explanation I wrote about our sleeping arrangements in Feb. 2006.

    A Secret

    About 6 years ago we visited my sister in law. We brought an air mattress to sleep on since there were no extra beds. I slept great since the mattress was one of the heavy duty ones that is meant for a water bed and it was very comfy.

    Somehow when we returned home I ended up inflating it again and
    sleeping on it alone. I think Mr. Sign was sick.

    Our bedroom has two rooms. There is a small room off of the main part that I had always used as a dressing room. The mattress fit perfectly in that room. There is no door but instead there is a rounded extra large doorway with a small rounded top window on either side.

    Each night that I slept on the mattress alone was better sleep than I had had since I was a kid. Mr. Sign has sleep apnea so he uses a CPAP machine at night. He wears a mask and the exhausted air always ends up hitting me in the face or the back. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad the he breathes now at night. He used to quit breathing for up to one minute at a time and the snoring was ridiculous (and his was pretty bad too).

    Then there is the gas factor. Why is it that men seem to save up the days worth of flatulence until they get into bed? There have been many a night that I thought I was in Baghdad during bombings.

    I'm no princess either since my nickname is Flipper while sleeping. I don't just roll over, I flip and often. This drives Mr. Sign insane.


    Well, the more I slept alone, the nicer I became. I was free. I could do all the flipping I needed to and I could hog all of the covers while sleeping in the middle of the bed. I hadn't realized how much sleep I was missing while trying to stay in the "marriage bed".


    The whole idea of other people knowing that we don't sleep together bothers Mr. Sign. I could care less. I can visit him whenever I please and then return to my bed (minus the wet spot because that's in his bed, he he). I honestly believe that if we still slept together that we wouldn't
    be married. My parents don't sleep in the same bed and neither do my grandparents. Actually, neither of them even sleep on the same level with one upstairs and one downstairs. At least we were in the same room.

    Last night I tried to get to bed early since I was feeling a little icky. It was after 11 p.m. when I finally made it. I sunk into my feather bed that rests on top of the mattress and drifted off to sleep. About an hour later I realized that my hip was hitting the floor. I tried to roll my ass out of bed and realized that there was hardly any air left in the mattress. WTF? I went and
    got the vacuum cleaner that has a reverse air flow and blew it up again. Ah, that's better. An hour later I was back on the floor.

    I decided that I couldn't try to figure out what was going on and slipped into my roommate's bed (a.k.a. Mr. Sign). He welcomed me in and even slid over to the middle (where he likes to plant his ass). I hovered on the
    edge holding on for dear life. Neither of us could sleep well. About 4 o'clock my body gave in and got about two hours of sleep. When I woke up every bone in my body ached.

    Mr. Sign was pissy all day since he didn't sleep well either. He decided to go buy a new air mattress. He didn't ever want to have a night like the last again.

    He brought home the new mattress and we started to inflate it and realized that it was one foot shorter and it was only six inches off the floor. This would never do since it cost over $120. We deflated it and actually got it back into the package it came in so he could return it.


    I got out the old mattress and had the girls help me find the small hole. #1 found it and it was on a baffle. I put some Liquid Nails on the hole and I hope that it holds forever. I don't ever want to sleep with someone again.
    In the end, I ended up buying a new mattress for almost $300. It only lasted until Fall when I exchanged it for a new one (Target wouldn't exchange it so I had to buy another one and then I returned the old mattress in the new box with the new receipt. Yeah, I'm evil like that but I paid major money for something that was supposed to last for years). I was very careful with it and even thought it would thank me for losing over 120 pounds, but no. It had to go and get a slow leak.

    I've been sleeping in Mr. Sign's bed while he's gone. I don't know what I'll do when he's back. My option with the air mattress is to send it in to be repaired. It's going to cost a fortune to ship it. It weighs at least 30 pounds. I can't imagine having to sleep with someone again with my ass clinging to the edge of the bed, praying that I don't fall off. I miss my comfy cloud like bed. *sigh*

    (another pic from the dork collection)

    18 comments:

    SignGurl said...

    First! Ahahahah!

    I realize that my new template has issues. I don't have time to try to fix my header. :-(

    Big Pissy said...

    I think you should buy yourself a "real" bed.

    Sweet Man and I sleep in separate bedrooms...have for years. He snores like a freight train.

    Of course there are those "special visits" to look forward to! ;-)

    good luck with the bed thing.

    I like your new template....I like bubbles! :)

    Lady Roxanne said...

    muahahahahaha...

    yeah air beds are fantastic

    lime said...

    hey if it means you guys are happy and healthy to have separate beds, that's what is important. but why not invest in a proper mattress for yourself at least?

    Felicia said...

    "I miss having an adult to talk to" hmmm I think I just got tossed in the "chop liver" category...

    Sorry to hear about the bed. Hope you get it fixed soon! =0)

    The Savage said...

    too bad my truck wint runnign right now.... I might be tempted to drop by for a visit you sexy thang you....

    and sleep? what the hell is that?

    barman said...

    I might have a solution for you. I have an old water bed mattress. I need to get it out and see if it is intact. If it is this is a fairly heavy duty Barney. Well I call it Barney since it is big and purple. It is queen size.

    I will and see what kind of shape it is in. It has not been used for 7 years. If you do not end up with it I will be throwing it out for dejunking days next week anyway.

    Your friendly neighborhood blogger.

    MilkMaid said...

    I LOVE the new template Sign!!!

    G-Man said...

    Well, 1/2 the year I sleep in my screened in room, what can I say?

    Cute Pic!! xox

    terry said...

    love the new template, love the pics of you, gorgeous.

    buddha_girl said...

    Dying laughing here.

    I don't sleep in separate bedrooms but know people like you guys who do...for the sake of their marriage and the need for SLEEP!

    I cracked up when you admitted that you leave the lovely wet spot for him. Good times!

    S said...

    OMG Barman is loaning you his waterbed mattresssss! He is about the nicest guy on the planet dont you think?

    Ok about sleeping...get your own good bed somehow, this cannot go on...and, I dont know how to tell you this, but $300 is not a lot of money to pay for a mattress....you need to spend twice that much for a really good one....(I am a bit of a bed expert, make futons etc)

    Looks like we all agree that you need your own proper bed, and you deserve it!

    I dont think its weird that you sleep in another room.....sometimes I sleep on the couch if my husband is snoring alot.
    I'll tell you a secret...I sleep outside, in a yurt, and I have to walk through my daughters bedroom to get there....through the back sliding door, across the patio about 12 feet...its really fun in the rain...LOL...and Ive only fallen on the ice once...
    SO yeah, youre not the only one with odd sleeping habits.

    Good luck with your new bed, that youre gonna get soon!

    javajazz said...

    funny about the beds...turns out the air mattresses are SO damn comfy! i happily sunk into one when my kid brought his band here to stay...it reminded me of my old waterbed which i slept like a log on too in the good old days....its cuz they support your body in all the right places...i was just researching beds for my kids (theirs are almost 20 yrs old, yuck!) and found 2 interesting ones, a SAT (self adjusting technology blah blah) or SAM bed, and this Tempurpedic, the first using air, and the second an incredibly high quality foam...but they're around 2 to 5 thousand dollars sooooo, i think the 39 dollar air mattress was great...if you put a big cotton duvet overtop...my ex used to have sleep apnea...its a rather interesting condition. the sounds were rather interesting too!
    ps your new photo looks gorgeous! i wish i had teeth like yours! and your face is always so pretty, so lit up, beautiful eyes hair etc! and i love the colours on your template or whatever they call those things! ps thanks for adding me on to you know who's you know what! i appreciate that! xo

    Chrissie said...

    Maybe sleeping together might not be so bad now that you are both a lot smaller?

    But if you still want to sleep alone... I say spend a little more and buy a real bed... nice lil pillow top!

    No One In Particular said...

    OOooooOOooo circles! Good luck with the bed situation. We bought a new pillow top a week ago & finally got it put in on Mother's Day. I was sooooooooo looking forward to getting some great sleep for a change, but boy, was I wrong! I'm cold-natured & I've been burning up every night & hub & I keep rolling into each other, since it sinks down so much. I honestly hope you can find what you are looking for, cuz sleep is important! P.S. I always leave the wet spot on his side of the bed :)

    No One In Particular said...

    Forgot to mention that the new bed is so much higher (fluffy pillow top) that I spent the whole first night clutching the side, afraid I was going to fall off!

    ann said...

    wow in all the years I was married it would never have occurred to me to sleep in a separate bed. we slept like spoons and had to have that physical contact all night, every night.

    sadly he chose to have that physical contact with not only me, on the nights he was overseas on business.

    so many years later and I still haven't quite got used to sleeping alone

    great post ;>)

    cathy said...

    We fixed the one we use in summer with a bicycle puncture repair kit