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    Friday, November 02, 2007

    Flash 55, Take 14

    I'm sprawled on the couch
    feeling more aroused than I've ever
    felt. His hands slide up my
    thigh and I tingle with anticipation.
    I'm begging him to take me.

    I hear a sound like a bomb going off.

    My eyes snap open.
    It was all a dream and the loud sound
    was Mr. Sign farting.


    Yes, I wrote this over a year ago but modified it for a 55.

    Yesterday, I had my one year weight loss surgery doctor appointment. I had to talk to the (new) dietitian who I could have taught a thing or two. Nothing against them, but they really have no idea about anything that isn't in their manual. I enjoy asking them an out of the box question just to watch them panic when it's not in their book. She yelled at me about using protein shakes. I let her know that since what I'm doing is obviously working for me, I wasn't going to worry about liquid calories.

    I was bummed not to be able to meet with the surgeon. I was lucky to have been able to speak to him as much as I have between Mr. Sign's surgery and my gall bladder surgery. I saw the physician's assistant. I really enjoy talking to her. She kept shaking her head as she walked into the room. She told me that all the staff was discussing my progress. Apparently they were amazed. Who knew? She said the most amazing part is the weight loss I've achieved in the last 6 months. Based on that, she thinks I should be able to take off 40-45 pounds in the next year. The average weight loss for the second year is 12-20 pounds.

    I've lost 26 inches from my hips and 24 inches from my waist.

    They do this body analysis where you stand with bare feet on a metal scale. It measures body fat, impedance and total body water. It breaks down how much of your body is fat. It also tells you how much of your body is bones, muscle and water. The great part is that when my body type came up, it said athletic. I find that kind of comical even though I do have quite a bit of muscle mass.

    My blood work came back excellent. My cholesterol is 116 (less than 200 is normal), HDL 38 (should be greater than 59. I'm low here), LDL 69 (less than 100) and triglycerides 43 (less than 150 is normal). My protein and iron were perfect.

    Woot!! I'm healthy! I could have told them that based on how I feel now. I've never felt better. Had I not carried all that weight around (170 pounds) for so many years, I'm not sure I'd know how great I feel today .


    lime said...

    as for the 55...i KNOW how you feel. mr lime could register on a seismometer with either a belch or a fart.

    so glad to hear the chekc up went aas well as it did and you got 'official' feedback on how fabulously you are doing. love that you require folks to think beyond manuals...you go, girl! ;)

    oh yeah....and FIRSTIES!!!!

    Anonymous said...

    wow that one got me going and then ended with a bang.lol

    100invites, I'm still laughing over that one.:)


    Manny said...

    Way to go sign.

    An athlete. Right on.

    I'm just happy you're healthy.

    Big Pissy said...

    Cute 55! haha!

    Awesome news from your doctor visit....you should be proud of yourself! :)

    S said...

    LOL @ your 55!
    I think you need to repay him with a dutch oven.
    Now I didnt invent this....whatcha do is, you pull the blankets up over his head while hes asleep and then you repay him with a big fart...and then his head is under there. :D
    Isnt that just terrible....my friend in UK told me about that. I have never done it, I swear!

    Doing great sign! Now im going to "learn how to make a sign"....

    MONA said...

    Fart talk here? :D

    That is a funny 55 Signgurl!

    Manny said...

    BTW, I don't want to be anywhere near the evil scale thingy you spoke of above.

    Rebicmel said...

    WTG Jenn!!!! Healthy is good. Loved your flash and roflmao at the farting bit ugh!!!!!

    Have a great weekend and congrats again on your success.

    *S* said...

    Ah, you have to have night to appreciate the day, no? I am so now down with most PA's - look, I want to speak with the head, not with the tuches. Give me a good RN any day.

    And big, big, BIG congrats on the great blood profile! That is SO important. I've put mine off until next week as I didn't want to have the painful arm/honkin' hematoma to stop me from helping my mother move this weekend.



    jillie said...

    Love the 55! hahaha...

    Those are great numbers. Most people would kill to have those.

    As for the nutritionist...yeah, it's hard for them to be in your shoes. You know first hand experience what happens. They only know from the books. You rock girl and keep up the good work.

    170! Damn!!


    Anonymous said...

    that 55 is a riot!! ha!

    You are awesome, girl. Glad everything went well. I wish you continued health and happiness! have a great weekend!

    G-Man said...

    A Dutch Oven..?
    But Jenn you would have to be able to fart first!
    Thanks for rescuing my pathetic blog once again.
    You rock!!

    Manny said...

    Just visiting.

    Mike M said...

    Great 55!!

    Wow, 170 lbs!! You look wonderful!!

    Jon said...

    That is awesome! My cholesterol is similar to yours. It comes from my Dad's good genes (luckily I didn't most of his bad ones.

    I agree with your assessment of the Nutritionist. You are kicking ass, and THAT is what matters.

    gab said...

    Great 55!
    Then I seen the Pic on the side of your old pants and it really really hit me how much you've lost. Again WTG GURL!!!!

    Queenie said...

    Great 55, what is it with men and wind?????
    I think I would kill to have athletic come up in any part of my profile. You really are amazing, you give hope to so many including my sister, like you she is feeling so good she glows....

    Manny said...

    GO BUCKS !

    GO BLUE !

    buddha_girl said...

    Hooray for you! I'm so happy that you spoke up for yourself. A protein shake isn't empty liquid caloried. Fuck that stupid nutritionist.

    Manny said...

    Congrats on the win!

    snowelf said...

    HAHAHA!! Now escaping that IS one of the perks of being single!! lol!! ;) I don't miss that part of being married at all. I used to have to leave the room! That's hilarious!!

    And congrats on your super awesome dr. visit!!


    jillie said...

    Hope you had a great wknd Jenn...you have to stop by and pick up your award now ;o)