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    Friday, October 01, 2010

    Bon Jour!

    Well hello there! Yes, G-Man, I realize that I missed my quarterly post. That's because life has been so busy.

    Firstly, my girls quickly came to their senses and came home. We worked things out. I think they realize that I am one of the few people in this world who will love them no matter what.

    My oldest daughter graduated from high school 18th in a class of almost 300. Not too shabby. Because of her scholastic merits, she was able to get most of her first year of college paid for. In August, we took her 500 miles from home into the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and dumped her into her new life. I was surprised to find that my child, the child who has counted down the days to when she was leaving home since she was 11, was completely homesick. I never expected that, nor did she. She's still working on being a grown up. As she says, "Being an adult sucks!" I am so proud of her. She is an amazing girl.

    Lake Superior with my girls

    Last dinner as a family

    Lake Michigan on the Cut River Bridge on the way home

    Now, onto more unpleasant subjects, my weight. I have been struggling desperately with my weight (as you can see in the pictures). I am up 20 pounds from my lowest weight. My weight loss surgeon warned me that he has seen very few weight loss surgery patients that don't gain back at least 20 pounds. I am nearly 4 years out from surgery. Most people begin to gain in the 2nd year. I don't know how I was able to keep it off as long as I have. I know that my eating habits are not what they should be. I've also found that I have been compensating for stress with food. It's really killing me inside. I feel the old fat girl creeping back into my head. I know it affects the way I carry myself. I have no self confidence any more.

    I pretty much spend my entire life worrying. I worry about my girls, money, my weight and about my love life. The stress is really getting to me. Being single is a lot of work, but I still have to remember that I made the right decision. I still have my house and recently paid off my van. The day after I paid off my van, my dad hit the front end and did $500 worth of damage.

    One of the more worrisome things I have to worry about is my neighborhood. It had been a great neighborhood when I moved in 20 years ago. Unfortunately, many have lost their houses and they have been snatched up by slum lords who rent to drug dealers. On the night of July 4th, the house across the street had a bomb detonated between the two front doors. The front windows and doors were blown off and into my house. You haven't lived until you've heard a bomb at 1:30 AM literally jolt you physically out of bed, only to hear it raining glass on your house. I have never felt panic like that. The woman who lives there was only slightly injured because "Something told her to go into the other room and shut the door". Had she been in her normal spot, she would have been dead. This is not an attempted murder case. This is also one of 3 ongoing court cases revolving around that particular property. These include several different families who have moved in and out. It's pretty crappy when you are scared to death to go home.

    So, yes, I am alive and kicking. Struggling, but kicking! I have been blogging for over 5 years. Where does the time go?


    Donna said...

    Make no mistake, in what you feel is weakness you are still prevailing. From everything I see, you are a kick-ass Mom! Don't let what what's going on around you devalue your self-worth and DO NOT resign yourself to being anything less than you want to be. *hugs*

    stalkermom said...

    So good to see an update from you! Stay strong!

    lime said...

    do not berate yourself for gaining 20 of the what, almost 200 pounds you lost. that's a tiny increment of the amount you lost. just stay mindful of what's healthy and get back on the horse.

    and yes, being an adult does suck sometimes....big time. good luck to your girl and you.

    as for the neighborhood woes, that is a scary thing. can you and the other responsible property owners in your neighborhood make any noise to the local authorities whether it's police or zoning boards or whatever means exist?

    Sarah663 said...

    Great to hear from you! Keep us posted, you are awesome!

    KB said...

    Wow, you've been so busy. Lovely pics.

    gab said...

    wow four years since surgery? YOU STILL LOOK FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! and 20 extra pounds? where?
    (whispering...Ive been with you for 4 yrs wow!Im so proud of you for all you've struggled through and won)

    Prayer Girl said...

    First time here. Found your link at the top of G-Man's page.

    Our neighborhood in Florida has also gone downhill since I moved here 25+ years ago, but at least there are no bombings. I can only imagine how terrifying that must have been for you.

    Please visit my blog if you have time.

    P.S. I think you look fabulous too. AND any friend of G-Man's is a friend of mine. :)

    Garish Fantasy said...


    Sissy said...

    Sounds too scary for me.
    Hi, just found you moments ago. Its bedtime and the brain is shutting down. I'll be back tomorrow. You make signs. I want to see some signs.

    Carol Lewis said...

    I find your blog just accidently and I can say - you're a good writer! And a pretty women with a brilliant figure. You don't need to care about how to lose weight fast, 'cause you body is perfect.

    DARREN Winland said...

    Your children must be proud of you, don't they?