Family Fun

Christmas this year was fast. Christmas eve was fun. We had 13 for dinner and the food was delicious.

My grandparents kept everyone entertained with their Subway story. They had never eaten there and didn't know what to expect when they stopped in for lunch the other day. The employee asked my grandma whether she wanted 6" or 12". Of course my grandma's dirty mind went to sex. She told the lady that she could probably only handle 6". So the lady fixed her sandwich to Gram's specifications and then asked her if she wanted to split it. Grams said that she could never split 6" because 3" was never enough besides she was hungry. So Gramps orders the exact same sandwich to which the lady behind the counter said, "I could have split the 12" in half and saved some time." Grams said something to the effect of he doesn't have 12". It's so strange to hear your 80 year old grandfather and your 75 year old grandmother referring to sex. Gotta love them! I'm sure that the way my Grams told this was much funnier.

Christmas day was spent at Gram and Gramp's. They cooked a meal for 30 of us. As soon as we got there, I could smell smoke. Mr. Sign went up to check on the 20 pound turkey and as soon as he opened the oven, 4" flames shot out of the oven. Gramps had decided to cover the heating element with aluminum foil because the juice was spattering on it. Thank God we got there or they might have burned down the house.

Soon after the turkey incident, I heard a loud banging. My aunt was locked in the bathroom and couldn't open the door because the handle fell off in her hand. I was relieved that it wasn't one of my kids since they usually are the ones having bathroom troubles. My aunt was in there for over half an hour and there were at least 7 men trying to get her out. My cousin slid cookies under the door so she wouldn't get hungry. Another cousin climbed a ladder up onto the balcony and tried to get her out the window but it was painted shut. He couldn't use the door to the balcony because the doors were all sealed shut. Finally, Mr. Sign told her to pull the door pins and he was able to push the door down saving the day. I was just glad it wasn't me locked in there because I'm afraid to miss a meal.

I spent today in Detroit with my grandma, mom and sister at the casino. I only lost $3 and consider that a win since I usually lose much more.

I still didn't play at the poker tables. I'm intimidated by all the mean old men who glare at you. I thought about playing since I had my low cut blouse on with all the bling and thought that would be a distraction but I lost my courage when I found that the tables had $1000 buy ins. Just a little out of my range.

I'm looking forward to a slightly slower pace of life. The holidays can wear you out!