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    Friday, January 06, 2006

    It All Started So Innocently

    As I was driving home from work tonight during rush hour, I decided to eat a sucker. Yeah, I said sucker not lollipop. We call them suckers here in Michigan. A lollipop is big and flat. I was eating a DumDum pop. Anyway, my kids have quite a stash in the car since they get one every time we go to the bank and #1 hates them.

    It all started so innocently.

    I found my favorite flavor, pineapple, and unwrapped it quickly and stuck it in my mouth as I'm speeding down the freeway at 78 miles per hour. I normally ignore the people that I pass since most of them are freaks anyway. I fly by the first car and notice a gentleman that is in his 50's staring at me. It took me a second to realize that he was watching me with my sucker as he sped up. So here we are neck in neck like we are Nascar drivers trying to pass the checkered flag. I floored it an passed him but decided to continue on with my sucker trick.

    The next car was another man but younger. I went to town on that sucker. I pulled it in and out of my mouth running it over my lips as I licked them. (This is starting to sound like porn, *giggle*.) That poor guy didn't know what to do. His eyes were bugging out of his head as he nearly put the car in the ditch. "Ha," I laughed as I left him in the dust.

    My next challenge was a truck driver. That's a little harder since he was in the right lane and I was in the left so he couldn't see me all that well. I started licking and sucking (again with the porn) as I approached the back of the truck making sure that he was watching me in the sideview mirrors. He noticed all right! He pulled ahead of me and then got into the passing lane so that I would be on his right side for perfect viewing. I was afraid that he was going to wreck since he hardly had eyes for the road. Trucker boy pulled his air horn and was screaming something that I couldn't hear when my exit approached. I gave the sucker one last pull out of my tightly squeezed lips and waved goodbye with my tongue (just kidding about waving. I wanted to see if you were paying attention).

    I think all this has to do with those stripper shoes. They made me do it!

    Edit~Don't drink and blog. It sounds funnier than it really is after a bottle of wine.


    sugarpunk said...

    LMAO ... omg that is hilarious..

    Alex said...

    It was that funny. LOL. Thought I have just had a bottle of wine too.

    I have a great set of mental images of you and your suckers.

    Big Pissy said...

    HAHAHA! I think you should do this at least once a week and then post the reactions you get!!!

    gigi said...

    Some day try it with a banana!
    Gawd I love men!

    SignGurl said...

    Sugar~I'm glad you laughed!

    Alex~I just finished the second bottle and asked Mr. Sign if that makes me a lush. He replied by saying he hoped so.

    Big P~Maybe all us girls should try it once a week although on second thought, might cause too many traffic accidents.

    Gigi~Did I ever tell you that I won a banana eating contest?

    Sunny said...

    It was funny to me too. You are so bad! I call them suckers too.

    Mike said...

    Wow, you're in Michigan huh? I am your neighbor. It was starting to sound like porn for a minute! LOL

    Michele in Michigan said...

    Jenn--ROFLMAO! I can just PICTURE that LOLOL

    I used to have a CB in my car for long roadtrips out I-96 there when I worked medical sales. I can IMAGINE what that trucker was telling the boys when he watched you do that LOLOL

    Polyman2 said...

    Hey! I too am
    a sucker
    for a girl
    with a dum dum
    in her mouth.

    wmy said...

    You are a dirty, dirty girl aren't you??

    DZER said...

    sucker tease!

    and I think we ALL want to hear the banana-eating contest story ;)

    Top cat said...

    jenn, I do believe I was in the other lane observing this entire episode of freeway porn.
    Love it..:)

    Barney said...

    LMFAO!....Death by Sucker...thats a new one! ;-)

    SignGurl said...

    Sunny~I am SO bad sometimes!

    Mike~Yeah, last time I checked Mich. was Ohio's neighbor. I don't think either state has moved *giggle*

    Michele~I wish I had a CB right then.

    Polyman~You are, huh?

    Wendy~I'm a Filthy girl!

    DZER~I thought I told you about the banana eating contest. Let's just say that I was a very popular girl the rest of the night with the guys. ;-)

    TC~That was you? I saw you lookin'

    Michael~I love it! Death by sucker!

    Natalia said...

    OMFG :) That is absolutely genius!!!


    kellywalters said...

    I always try to drink and blog! seriously! thats the best way to do it!

    Cigamybab said...

    Wazz up Heres your Sign

    Wenchy said...

    We also call 'em suckers ;)

    The Seeker said...

    I'm laughing at your edit. too funny.

    Lara said...

    Hey, what's wrong with porn? I LOVE this post, and I haven't had any wine. (Of course I'm a bit odd at times, so don't assume that my ok makes it right. hehe)

    I can just picture you doing this and driving all the people who saw you totally nuts... it's such a fun thing to do!

    And I'm originally from Ohio, where we also call them suckers too. Lollipop is such a prissy word!

    barman said...

    How fun this is and I am glad you did not edit the post.

    I have been know to do a few things in the car that people reacted to. Nothing so fun however. I was real into a song once and as the person passed me afterwards I could see them mimic me, to funny.

    You know there was that huge car pile up a year ago where more than 100 cars were involved. Now I think I know the real story behind what caused that. Jenn, you are bad ... and I love it!

    Passionate Man said...

    Women are in complete control...it's a fact!