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    Friday, March 24, 2006

    Dilema

    The Michigan Bloggers are meeting next weekend in Ann Arbor. Some really cool people are coming to party. I've been excited for a month about meeting everyone.

    I have been giving small details a little at a time to Mr. Sign to convince him to let me go. I even thought that having him come would be ok even though I know that he would feel strange since he doesn't know anything about the group.

    Daughter #2 has a dance that night and it will be her first this year. She doesn't want to miss it. So, Mr. Sign decided he would stay home and deal with the kids. He said I could still go to the meeting as long as someone was coming with me. The problem is that everyone I would like to take is busy. He says that it's not safe for a woman to meet people she has never met alone.

    I knew that there was more to his feelings so upon probing a little deeper he admitted that he is jealous. He's afraid that I'll run off with someone I've met on the internet. I reminded him that since it took me 5 years to allow him to see me in the nude that it may be a little hard for me to run off with someone I hardly know.

    So, I have decided that because I want to drink, I'm going to get a hotel room and spend the night.

    I have other issues with meeting people who only know me through what I write here. Depending on how observant you are, you may already know that I am a big girl. I MEAN BIG! I'm not sure how people will accept me. I assure everyone that everything about me is the same here as in real life except that because I can pick and choose what pictures I show of myself, I always choose ones that make me look good. Wouldn't everyone choose pics that make them look attractive? I tried to let people know some of my feelings about being a large woman here.

    So my dilemas are: Do I go to the blogger meeting and upset my husband? And if I go are people going to think I'm a total freak of nature?

    18 comments:

    Suze said...

    Jenn, if they judge you on how many pounds you weigh they are shallow minded people. I believe they would see the person you are inside.

    I have only been reading you for a short while but I like the Jenn I have come to know. So regardless of what you look like I like the kind, caring, intelligent and witty you.

    You should go but not on your own for safety reasons.

    I feel really left out over here in the UK. It seems that bloggers are meeting up all over but not here in England. :(

    I'll have to move. LOL.

    Michele in Michigan said...

    Personally, I do NOT think you will have a problem when you meet people. And NOBODY is going to CARE that you are a big girl.

    We know YOU through your writing. Whether or not you ever posted a pic, I don't think any of us CARES what everyone else looks like!

    I still don't know if I can make it or not, but I will NOT hold myself back because I am fat. People will either like me, or not. :D

    Re: hubby--DON'T worry!! My hubby thought I was nuts for flying to St Louis to meet people I had never set eyes on. After that, I had yearly get-togethers with these people, even sharing condos on the beach in Myrtle Beach. I would have taken him in a heartbeat if he'd had any desire to go. Remind him AGAIN of that whole "shy while naked as a big girl thing" lol.

    If that doesn't work, send him to MY house to meet ME and then he can hang out with my hubby LOLOL ;)

    kellywalters said...

    I will protect you. and I'f I'm not enough I will have my hunky marine man to guard both of us. cause you know the one we really have to watch out for is BTE.. * wink* heheeheh.. honey.. I dont care what you look like. I love you for you. I have big friends. I have little friends.. My feelings are never based on how you look. I dont think any of us are that shallow!

    littlefeet said...

    i say go...it will be fun...you will come back home the next day with lots of pics of the cool people...your husband will survive... :)

    be yourself...be confident in who you are...being a big grrl is not a bad thing...and if people are going to judge you on your size, then they are not worth the time...

    and sometimes, being a freak of nature is not a bad thing... :)

    peace...

    Top cat said...

    whoaaaaaaa a sec here miss jenn.
    You have always been upfront about your size, all I've seen is your beautiful spirit and those eyes that melt me.

    If you really feel it's important to be there for your daughter that to me is more important.
    Secondly, please re-evaluate what this may do to your husband, he has given his blessings so he's already proven he trusts you but what long term impact will this have? the mind is a very strange beast!

    If you feel you want to go then go, just listen to your gut feelings, I think you've proven you can trust them.

    Let's talk perspective here, there are many fine michigan bloggers here, I am so happy I met Bryan, he is as wonderful a person in person as who you read here.
    That being said this is BLOGGING, it's a hobby, an outside outlet from our everyday lives.

    Please follow your heart on this one.
    peace to you sweetie,
    Tc

    ps..big Jenn=more to love(winK)

    Kristen said...

    God, I would love to meet other bloggers and I know that sounds crazy to people who don't blog but seriously.........

    You'll make the right decision and everyone will love you!!!

    Good luck and I can't wait to hear about it

    crabcake said...

    Aw. You are killin me Jenn. Do you really think anybody there isn't going to love you?

    I won't be there cause we have junk all that weekend and let's face it, it's a good bit further for me. But if I were, we'd come back best friends. Pinky swear on that.

    I honestly think you get know people better from what they write sometimes than you could face to face.

    And HELL YES everybody posts which ever pic of them comes out the best. That's just good common sense.

    But to put you at ease, even though I won't be there, I am going right now to my blog to post a MOST UNFLATTERING pic of myself. It's from a couple years ago when my hair was still red but....it'll still do it for ya.

    PS. I think it's sweet that Mr. Sign worries over you. Make sure he's first and foremost on your list of what matters. Cause he loves you. And that's everything.

    ell said...

    if people are going to judge you on how you look, then the heck with them. those are not the kind of people you want to be with anyway. and anyone who has read your blog knows what a sweet and funny person you are. i personally would love to meet you and go shopping, have lunch, whatever.

    if you do go, please just be careful, and if there's any way you can have a friend go with you, do. be safe!

    cutie said...

    Honey....we'll be big girls together! And trust me, if anyone gets rude...I got yer back!

    Tell your husband I'll be your cockblocker! LOL.

    The nice thing is...we really aren't strangers...we've all put our hearts/selves on our sleeves. And everyone can't wait to meet you!! I'm at the top of that list!

    Cutie

    barman said...

    Everyone will love you, you will see. No one will give you a hard time but if they do they will have to answer to me. I am not going to let someone pick on my blogger buddy. I think everyone feels the same way.

    After next week we need a Crabby meetup!

    terry said...

    sweetie, i SO know what you're talking about.

    but i don't think you have a thing to worry about. you're a doll, inside and out, and everyone who reads your blog knows it.

    Shay said...

    I don't think anyone will think you are a freak!
    I can understand your husband's concerns though, maybe promise that you'll bring a cell phone and keep it on the whole time so that he can check on you?

    Laurie said...

    NO WAY!! You are beautiful!!! So just chuck those insecurities in the garbage can where they belong, ok?

    *mwah*

    DZER said...

    safety issues, trust issues ... issues are a bitch LOL

    sometimes I'm glad I'm single and don't have to worry as much about another person's concerns, worries, etc.

    so not even gonna try to touch advising you on that one!

    as for the other ... screw them if they don't like you for how you look instead of how you are. I think anyone that reads your blog and comments regularly won't have any of the issues/mindsets you're worried about ... at least, I know I wouldn't.

    hmm ... but then again, I'm REALLY fat ... so I'd make you look all slender standing next to you ;)

    ~Deb said...

    Big, small, fat, skinny, muscular---it's all about how a woman carries herself. I am sure you have more confidence in yourself! You're a beautiful woman, don't let that stop you from meeting people.

    buddha_girl said...

    You are lovely. Period. If your inner demons choose to speak to when you meet the bloggers or anyone else for that matter, forward their messages to me. I'll tell them to fuck the hell off.

    Even though I've lost more than 200lbs, I still consider myself a 'big girl.' Ya know what? I doubt I'll ever be able to consistenly see the changes in myself, but those people who love me remind me on a daily basis. Sometimes that's all I need.

    Consider today my reminder to YOU. You are lovely. You are beautiful. You are more than enough!

    Madame X said...

    OK apparently I can not leave the blog world for longer thatn a day because of crap like this!

    Listen to me Missy!
    YOU ARE WONDERFUL!!!! Yeah I know that we are an image obsessed society but GOOD people, people WORTH knowing realize that it's what on the inside that makes people attractive not the outside!

    I would give my left one to be able to stand next to you and give you a big ole hug!!!!!

    Jeesh!

    As for Mr. Sign being nervous...give him a break he is only protecting the one he loves most in this world!

    Mike said...

    Jen, don't worry a bit about it! Just be yourself!