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    Wednesday, May 24, 2006

    I Blew A Nut

    Hehe, that sounds so dirty. I'm not talking about what I did to Mr. Sign. That's my friend's favorite saying for "losing it".

    Mr. Sign and I had our last visit with the Internist today before all of our information is turned into the insurance company to determine if we fit the criteria for weight loss surgery.

    I wasn't preprared to have an EKG but I did. The medical assistant (an adorable brunette) who did it was very nice. She was unhooking one of the leads and she dropped one on my face. She said, "I didn't mean to beat you up". To which I replied, "Sometimes it can be fun". I have no idea how that slipped out but she didn't seem very amused. She told me to strip except for my underwear and put on this ginormous gown. It's always nice to meet someone in your skivies.

    The doctor was a woman. She entered the room and immediately made me feel uncomfortable. She was very aloof and treated me like I wasn't human. She got right to the point and asked me if I had any doctor supervised diets. I told her that I didn't even have a primary care physician for 8 years.

    She asked me what I do for a living so I told her I make signs. She said, "Oh, you paint signs by hand?" I told her that it's all computerized now. I let her know that I do everything from designing to the actual making of and installing the signs. She said that it was interesting. I'm assuming that she was looking down her nose at me.

    She then felt me up (haha, at least my legs and belly). She listened to my heart and lungs. I guess I've never had a woman doctor before. Weird.

    She said my EKG looked great. I asked her about my bloodwork. She kept looking at it and squinting like she couldn't read it. She said everything looks good, "surprising". My cholesterol is 160. LDL is 99. HDL is 51 which could be a little higher since that's the good one. Glucose is 91. My pulse is 65 and blood pressure is 117/72. All of my liver functions were great as were my thyroid tests. So basically I'm damned healthy for a big girl.

    When she was leaving she said, "You should prepare yourself for the insurance company to deny your request based on the fact that you don't have 2 years of doctor supervised diets. I've asked my billing specialist about working with your insurance company and they are likely to reject you." I was devastated. I told her that I had asked all along every step of the way if this was a possiblity and was assured that I was a prime candidate.

    I had to wait in the waiting room for Mr. Sign to get done. I sat stewing in my own madness about the whole thing. I was pissed because I now know that they put everyone through this process just to get their money knowing that they will be rejected. If anyone had tried to talk to me right then, I would have exploded.

    As soon as I saw Mr. Sign I broke down and went on a rampage yelling about how this was bullshit. He tried to calm me down but I was inconsolable.

    He immediately got on the phone and called the insurance company to ask (for the third time) what criteria we had to meet. She said that with our plan of coverage, we don't have to do the 2 years of doctor supervised weight loss. Apparently there are different levels of coverage and ours covers weight loss surgery.

    The doctor was trying to cover her ass. I realize now that she was judging me based on my job. She thought that since I'm a lowly sign maker that I would have the lowest coverage.

    It would seem that someone who works with people who have researched and put all of their heart and soul into making the decision to have a life changing surgery would be a little more gentle in her approach of rejection. I realize now that she was just preparing me in case it happened so that I wouldn't be devastated. She really burst my bubble.

    Everything now goes into the insurance company. I hope it doesn't take too long to find out the outcome.

    Next stop, my primary care physician on Thursday for my yearly physical. Dr. Googly Eyes will have his huge bug eyed glasses near my cooch yelling, "I can't find it". At least that's what he said last time. I lifted off the table and asked him how could he not find it? He said it was my cervix he was having a hard time locating. Just my luck. A doctor that can't find all my parts.

    I can hardly wait.


    Manny said...

    I am happy that you are moving forward with this.

    When i go foe tests and stuff, squirrel always makes me promise that i will not bully the techs.

    After blogging it is way toooo easy to slip up in life.
    now that i am allowed to sign letters at work. Well I have to be careful.

    Couldn't you just see it? Letter head, all of the name of the higher ups?

    Man Eater

    ha ha ha
    i would have to go live with squirrel.

    Madame X said...

    Dr's can have the worst 'bedside manner' some day I'll tell you abt my OB that basically made me feel like there was something terribly wrong with my baby...

    Maybe you should make a sign for your cervix so googly eyes can find it?

    Suze said...

    Why are women doctors like that. I had one just the same as her, a real cow. I now only see the male doctors at my practice. I'm so glad she got it wrong.

    I hope your physician is better at finding the g-spot than the cervix. LOL.

    Great new and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. :)

    Nonny said...

    Whew, that could have really put a dent in your plans. I'm glad Mr. Sign called and got it staightened out. I can see why you were upset, alot of doctors would do that for the money. And what kind of doctor doesn't know that signs are made on computers. They have been for like 20 years or something. I'd say her real life experience is suspect at best. My primary care doctor is a women, but I only see her for minor things. She's younger than me-weird.

    sassinak said...

    damm dude

    that doctor sucked... and your other doctor doesn't sound any better. can you switch or are these people specific to your hmo?

    Sal said...

    You would think they would have a better approach with people. If he can’t find all you parts, I’ll help. I can find them with my eyes closed *wink*… LOL

    BTW, love the new avatar. Gurrrr baby!

    littlefeet said...

    so...heres a story about docs and parts...

    my friend had an emergency hysterectomy after her last child was born, 14 years ago...every year, like a good girl, she gets her pap done...every year, they ask the same questions...

    Q: do you use birth control
    A: i am a lesbian and i had a hysterectomy

    Q: when was your last period
    A: gives date

    Q: so what do you use for birth control
    A: i have no uterus, its impossible for me to get pregnant

    Q: so you are not pregnant
    A: ????????


    hope things go well for you... :)


    Tumbleweed said...

    You hang right in there! I am dying to know the outcome!! I have my fingers crossed that insurance won't reject you. I am sticking with you the whole way!!

    Fridaysweb said...

    AFTER everything is over and she will no longer be going at your insides with sharp objects, could you make a really passive/aggressive/sarcastic remark to her? I mean, I get the feeling you'd have no problem mustering one up and using it. I'd maybe say something like, "gee, guess my insurance does give a shit, after all, huh, doc?" Or, you could just tell her she's a bitch and needs to go back to kindergarten to learn manners.

    ell said...

    good luck sweetie! i'm rooting for you!

    crabcake said...

    UGH! I absolutely can not handle people like that woman. What a total asshole! I've only had one doc like that and I fired her sorry ass. Nobody has the right to look down at you. (unless it's Mr. Sign and you are....) never mind.

    Can't believe you held your temper. The worst part is she put you through unnecessary torture far as I'm concerned. You never had to be upset like that. What a bitch!

    cadbury_vw said...

    i'm really upset for you

    that is such a shitty thing to raise your expectations and then dash them

    just like you said, it's not like they didn't already know

    but they wanted their money

    terry said...

    funny, i usually have experiences like these with male doctors.

    and i hate hate hate dealing with insurance companies. hope yours does the right thing!

    American Navel said...

    that doctor is a bitch and whore!

    DZER said...

    it sucks that it's so hard to find a doctor who treats patients like humans and customers instead of test subjects.

    I was lucky and found a good one ... I just need to visit him more often LOL

    good luck, sweetie ... I'm pulling for ya :)

    wmy said...

    Hey there chica...what the hell????? I am gone for a while...I saunter on over to your site...and you are having WLS??? Now I am gonna have to go back and read all of your archives to catch my ass back up on your life girl!!When I have read your previous posts, I will be back here in your comment section rooting you on!! Be back in a bit k...BTW...I really hope everything goes great for you!!

    Kristen said...

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!