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    Wednesday, June 14, 2006

    Leaving "The Club"

    I have found that I've lost some good friends (including Blogger friends) because I'm having gastric bypass surgery to lose weight. I was a little sad but now I realize that they were never really "good" friends.

    When you are a large person, especially a woman, you become a member of the Big Girl's Club whether you choose to or not. I was at one time happy to be a part of the group. I told myself that I could be happy and healthy being a big girl and I think to some extent I was. I remember thinking that people who lost weight could not be trusted since they were not in the club anymore.

    I did not decide to have weight loss surgery over night. I have looked into this procedure for over three years. I have chosen this path because I have tried everything else and I fear for my health. I'm healthy now but I know that I will not remain that way with the extra weight. I'm not doing this to attract attention to my appearance. Frankly, I've never had issues with attracting the attention of the opposite sex. That would not be my motivation for weight loss.

    I want to be able to do things that I have stopped doing because of my weight. I want to ride on roller coasters with my girls. I want to ride my bicycle and not feel like my ass is hanging over the seat. I want to be able to run and not worry about hurting myself. I want to do all of these things for my children but also for myself. I can't be the best me without losing weight.

    So to all of those who can't accept that I've taken measures to leave the club, FUCK YOU! I don't care what you do with your life so why do you care what I do with mine?

    Whew! I feel better now! I should know within the next week whether or not I have been approved for surgery. I'm in limbo right now and I'm not liking it. I want to get the show on the proverbial road.


    barman said...

    I am sorry to see you write this. It is sad that is happening to you. You will always be the super person you are regardless of how much you weigh.

    I would go on but I can not say anything significant other than best wishes my friend. I hope you get the green light soon.

    Sal said...

    Sweetie, you have your own club already. The “I love SignGurl” club. I would be happy to mop the floors just to stay in it!

    Anyone gives you the slightest bit of crap and I will promote myself to ASS KICKER. I know I will have plenty of back up too!

    Jodes said...

    Well I do not who these losers are that you thought were your friends, but stop fretting and move on. They are not worth it.

    I may not come and visit your blog everyday but the day I found out about you doing this I was so happy for you!!! I said so too and that day you were so blue I left this long post supporting you and trying to help...so I am there for you as is Sal and all the rest of us. I will try to vist more. i cannot wait to hear that the date has been set for your surgery and then I cannot wait to see pictures. I have known 3 people to have this and each one was a huge success!!! HUGE!!!

    Osbasso said...

    I find it incredibly shallow that you'd be losing friends over this! Of anyone, they should be encouraging you and helping you along! As a member of the Big Boys Club (and no, not THAT big club), I applaud you and wish you the very best!

    crabcake said...

    I agree with Osbasso. Incredibly shallow, indeed. Sadly, there are people like that.

    Well, you're not losing me, kiddo. No matter how hard you try, I'll be just a couple steps behind doggin your heels, and tellin the worst jokes you ever heard.

    There are a lot of people here who love you. Bottom line. Everybody else...PAH! flotsom. Who needs 'em? Not us.

    MilkMaid said...

    Fuggem, cuz they weren't really your friend to begin with, IRL or cyber.

    I look forward to your journey, as much as you can share.

    buddha_girl said...

    Listen up here, sister:
    Don't waste a fuck on someone who is going to be so envious that you're MOVING on in your life and doing something to make YOUR life and YOUR HEALTH better.

    Got that?

    I've HAD the surgery. I didn't have it to look better. I didn't have it to attract men. I didn't have it to shake my ass on the hootchie mama dance floor.

    I did it so I could carry a pregnancy without dying, could play with my son, could LIVE each day fully...and to crawl under fences with Hippi while shaking my bootilicious self.

    If you're gonna fuck...do it with someone ya like, Jenn. ME! *SNORT*


    Michele in Michigan said...

    Wow. Just. Wow.

    I am so sorry that you had to be so dissapointed wiht your "friends." It's tough to discover how shallow some people are. Maybe they see it as an "us" vs "them" thing. Tough shit. It's not as if this surgery is taking the easy way out! This is a major step & I support you 100% in your effort to become healthier.

    Hope you get the go ahead SOON! I know this can be a lengthy process. I have a friend going through it now. I am strongly considering it, too.

    Hugs to you, my friend. And I am not so far away that we couldn't get together sometime. Hang in there & don't let people get you down.

    cadbury_vw said...

    that is kind of bizarre

    why would anyone give a hoot about your choice to lose weight or not? when my sister talked to me about her potential for getting the surgery, my only concern is with regard to safety

    just as it is with you

    i'm still shaking my head

    not commenting as much, but still here every time i see in my blogroll you've posted

    take care


    cadbury_vw said...
    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
    Suze said...

    Jenn, I find it unbelievable that you should have lost friends through this decision. People should be supportive of your choice and not judgemental.

    I understand your reasons. Why shouldn't you be able to participate in activities, which are currently difficult for you to take participate in.

    Why shouldn't you be happy. I am truly keeping my fingers crossed for you.


    wmy said...

    its okay baby...do whats right for you, and fuck the haters right?? RIGHT!! Sometimes it is just plain old fashioned jealousy that makes people try to keep you down...dont let them do it to ya!

    wmy said...

    btw...thanks for not delinking me while I've been gone darlin! lol

    Manny said...

    Don't think twice about those losers sweetie. They are just jealous. jealous before and they'll be jealous after.

    Stay true to your heart.

    My friend had that surgery and she is so happy she did. Of course being single she does shake her bootie some, but i'm not mad at hter for it. hahha

    I am your friend. I am a good friend too. I am loyal, fun to hang out with, I will cry with you, laugh with you, make you a small loan LOL, and I will wait till dark, dress all in black, and roll up on someone for you if you ask. hahhaah

    Hang in there babe, I'm with you.

    DZER said...

    geeze ... it's not as if you announced a conversion to satanism, or that you're becoming a part of the aryan nation!

    I agree with everyone else here in your comments section; those people were never truly your friends and fuck them for presuming to judge you for taking steps to get healthier, for you and your family. This obviously isn't some careless, spur-of-the-moment whim; you've made it clear how long you've been considering this and all the steps you've had to take and are taking in the process.

    *big boy hugs*

    Manny said...

    You totally rock Signgurl!!!!!

    gab said...

    I wish I had the nerve to have it done I so need to lose weight. And now with arthritis its worse being over weight.

    Madame X said...

    What can I say...some people suck.
    Friends should want their friends to be happy...enough said.

    kisses and hugs


    Big Pissy said...

    Stupid people suck!

    They were never your friends, obviously.

    I've said from the beginning that I was proud of you and happy for you with regards to this decision.

    Still am!

    love ya!


    Mone said...

    Hi signgurl, I think its my first on your site, regards to crabby.
    I've read quite a few posts of yours and I think you are terrific!
    Weigth los is a good idea and if its with surgery so what?
    I sure would like to do some cutting fat on my stomach, but I just cant afford it.
    Go on gurl, you rock!

    cutie said...

    Envy makes some folks say and do some crazy shit.

    As not only a member, but the president of the Big Girl's Club, I say, do what YOU feel is neccessary to be healthy. Those other folks are just jealous, or just rude, or just plain assholes.

    And we'll still invite you to the meetings. Once a Big Girl, Always a Big Girl(at heart...)

    Denny Shane said...

    honey, you don't need friends like that at all mainly because they are not your friend in the first place.;)

    Jon said...

    You gotta do what you gotta do. I think that this is a very personal decision. Fuck them if they can't be behind you.

    I completely understand your decision. You rock in so many ways.

    Only problem... will this mean you can't do as many Jello shots?

    Laurie said...

    OMG - I cannot believe that people would be so shallow. You are right, they aren't your true friends, and you know what? You don't need them.

    I'm 110% in support of you doing whatever it takes to make you feel better :-)

    Love you, girl!

    oldhippichick said...

    Hey there! I have to say I have been keeping up with your blog and Buhhda Girl told me about this. Geez. Let me say that I truly admire you! It takes real strength and courage to make this decision and I know you will feel better, healthier, and happier. Life is for living...and living well. I am so glad you sent the negative, small minded asshats back to fuckland! Perhaps they can apply for a craniorectotomy! (Have thier heads removed from thier assholes.)

    Good luck and all the best to you, SignGurl! You have a friend in me! *hard Hugs*

    MamaKBear said...

    I'm with you on your decision, g/f...you gotta do what's right for you. I can't believe you've lost friends over this!

    You've still got me, and I already thought you were beautiful!! You'll knock their socks off as a "skinny bitch"! LOL Best of luck, sweetie!

    Chrissie said...

    WTF? Jealousy is a twisted emotion... i'm sorry people act that way.

    tami said...

    Jen, you're a beatiful person, inside and out... and if you want to enhance that beauty in whatever way possible, it's your body. Do what will make YOU happy - we'll all support you 200%!


    Tumbleweed said...

    I am so sorry I have fallen behind keeping up with you! I am here now. I understand exactly everything you are going through and we are on the same path. Just because I am taking a different route to get to the same place, we will meet up at the end and be happy together. I think you are brave and your reasons for doing what you are doing are completely justified. Ijust got back from the doctor and I am down 15 pound in the last 28 days. Yayy! I have always been the big girl in the cool girls club so there!! Good luck babe and I am your friend. I will be here for you!! This is the longest comment I have ever written!