I've been thinking about how some of my family treated me (see post below) on Thanksgiving.
I've read so many accounts of people losing weight and "becoming a new person". People around the person losing weight say that losing weight has changed that person. What I've noticed is that the overweight person now chooses not to put up with crap that would have been ignored before.
As overweight people, we tend to let things go by that a normal person wouldn't. We try so hard to make people like us by being agreeable. To make up for our physical shortcomings, we have to put up with a lot of crap.
After this holiday with my family, I saw a side of myslef that I've not seen before. That was me fighting back. I didn't let my displeasure with family's comments go by without letting them know how it made me feel. (I'm sure part of this had to do with PMS.) Before weightloss surgery, I would have gone home and never said a word about being made to feel like crap.
This newfound me is going to be interpreted by others as being bitchy. I guess that being bitchy is acceptable unless you are fat. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Being Bitchy
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11 comments:
You shouldn't have to take it, so good for you! As for your family, hopefully they'll come around as they see the positive changes.
And you know what? You don't even have to decide right now how you feel about it. I think we will all go through a learning process in this area. We might feel terribly resentful at times, and it will suck; what we see and hear from others we thought we knew better.
As for me and my activity, keep in mind I was doing regular activity before, and really have been for a while even in spite of my weight. Before surgery, if I pushed it, I did a mile in just under 15 minutes. just being minus 20 or so pounds has made such a huge difference! It's great! Plus, this is on the elliptical -- it's not the same as walking. There's no impact, so it's definitely more comfortable on the joints.
being fat, or knowing someone who is, is not an excuse for bad behavior...
and you should not have to put up with it, regardless of your size...
and they deserve to be put in their place...
here is an interesting site... :)
peace...
I know I'm over weight and don't appreciate anyone pointing it out to me. I took it for years, but not anymore. Just like you are doing now. You go girl and don't take no shit anymore. I guess it was about 10 years ago when I first said something back at someone. I turned their supposedly funny comment around, and asked them why they were insulting me. Now I say things like that back at people and it usually stops them in their tracks and makes them feel foolish.
Don't take bullshit off anyone...ever.
You have a lot to be proud of and you don't have to take the bullshit from anyone! You go girl!! Keep up the good work. Sorry to read about your Thanksgiving....
Whatever happened to family being spportive?? Sheesh! Your posts really struck me after the weekend I had (you can read about it on my 1000 Words blog if you're curious).
You're doing great... and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. I'm glad that we are both learning to stand up for ourselves. :)
You have a lot to be proud of and you no longer need to stay quiet. So if you tend to be "bitchy" you have the right. As being overweight myself I have taken alot of crap for years from my family. This is one reason I no longer spend the holidays with my family just with my own kids and grand kids who all acept me as who I am the way I am. Fat and all. But now that you've taken the step it has gotten me thinking that I really dont like myself very much and maybe what my family was tring to do was get me to see what they saw. Either way it did not give them the right to call me names or hurt my feelings.
You know you made a light bulb go off over my head. I know people make the comment that since a person is fat they are always so happy. When they are on a diet or have lost the weight they are not. So I think that is exactly what is going on and I never connected the two. When you are less than perfect you tend to take the comments and pretend like you either did not hear them or they did not bother you. Believe you me, they bother me big time.
I think that is what is going on. One the people that see you losing the weight are jealous because you are doing something to improve things and are now getting a lot of attention. And two, they are used to saying mean things and thinking nothing of it. People are sad.
I still love you Sign. Hey does #1 have a concert some time soon. I would love to see it and see you again too.
What babygirl said!
i just saved this post for future thought
you absolutely said it - your comments are so insightful
when i lost weight people said i'd changed (my ex-wife and my in-laws said i'd changed).
my friends told me how good i was looking and commended my effort and willpower. they said nothing about my previous appearance.
i stopped taking shit
i don't know if was just the weight, i think the weight and eating my anxiety were a way of coping with being mistreated to begin with
agreeable and nice... maybe we eat because we are too agreeable and too nice to begin with?
keep the faith - keep faith in yourself!!!
you are strong and you are worthy of being treated right.
*snap*!
You don't have to blame your bitchiness on the surgery, hon... my kids simply blame the fact that I am an actual bitch.
You, too, can use the same excuse if you want to. ;)
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