Getting It Together

So, yeah.  I'm running through life and remembering to stop and smell the roses.  Things are going pretty well.  Mostly due to the fact that I decided several months ago to stop drinking.  Alcohol was not doing me any favors.  Amazingly, the anxiety went away despite life being more hectic than ever. 

My stepdad/boss had quadruple bypass surgery which leaves me to run the sign shop alone.  I'm doing ok and figuring out ways to make things work, including working the second job.  I decided after much self depreciating thinking that I have much to be grateful for.  I'm working two jobs, keeping my home and the bills are paid.  I do without a lot of extras, but honestly, life has been good to me. 

I'm still in a relationship with a man and it's been almost 4.5 years.  We still live separately.  We've been through our ups and downs and it's nice to know that someone actually loves me. 

My weight is steady, although it's higher than I'd like. I keep reminding myself that I'm still 134 pounds less than my highest weight.  (Yes, doing the math means that I've gained a lot of weight.) I'm trying to eat healthy but it's tough on such a limited income.  Who's idea was it to make junk food so cheap and real food expensive?

My goal is to keep getting it together.

Bullets Galore!

I've decided that using bullets is the laziest easiest way to blog for me right now. I'm not sure I'm able to make complete sentences, so bear with me.

• The upcoming holidays are making me ambivalent for more than one reason. I wish I didn't have to put up decorations because I'm a Grinch at heart right now.

• December is normally my favorite month of the year, but not this year. First we have our 19th wedding anniversary, my 40th birthday in Vegas, Christmas and finally New Years Eve. All of these festivities are leaving me feeling cold.

• Every day I am reminded of how much I have to be thankful for. My girls amaze me every day with one thing or another. They are healthy, articulate, brilliant, beautiful, talented, loving etc. I could go on for days...

• Both of my maternal grandparents are still alive and living on their own. I don't want to think about life without them.

• My love for my electric blanket is bordering on insanity. I want to go to bed at 6 PM every night.

• Do any of you read my Twitter updates at the top of this blog? I ♥ Twitter.
  

• The fitness magazine has contacted me and now I'm having a hard time deciding which pictures to use. They have offered to take a new after shot, but I dread the idea of not having control over the picture. I am so critical of myself that way.

• Most of you have no idea how much my life is really sucking right now. It's ok to be confused, because I sure am.

• Could these bullets be more bi polar?
  

• I have become one of the best music CD makers ever! My kids love me for that.
  

• Thinking of quitting my day job to become a go go dancer (as long as I can keep my clothes on. Ahaha!!

• People never cease to amaze me. I thoroughly enjoy watching their faces as they figure out that I'm not as dumb as I appear although I admit to using that to my advantage when playing Poker.

• Dancing in my car makes me laugh, especially when other drivers are watching.
  

That is all for now. Toodles!

More Bullets

• I was getting my free pair of Victoria's Secret underwear, when a woman told me that she hated the style of underwear I was getting. She said that I liked them because I was "older". Grrr...

• A friend made me laugh so hard yesterday that I almost wet my pants.

• I love laughing so hard that you have tears streaming down your face.

• Why do I always have to work outside when it's freezing?

• The holidays are making me ambivalent.

• My electric blanket is all I think about all day long.
  

• Walking in 29 F weather yesterday felt invigorating.

• Raspberry flavoring is one of my favorites, however I can't stand real raspberries because of the seeds.

• I am completely addicted to Face Book.

• Driving on black ice yesterday made me remember who is in control and it was not me.

• I am a very spiritual person, however I have no use for religion.

• My life is moving at the speed of light and yet I feel like I'm standing still sometimes.