Hateful Hormones

I'm a total bitch lately. I find I have the urge to strangle someone, daily. I often stop and count to ten and laugh at how ridiculous my raving hormones are and then continue to flame on.

I hate feeling like this. One minute feeling like a bull charging a bullfighter, then the next, bawling my eyes out. I actually cried yesterday in my car listening to Five For Fighting's 100 Years.

The gall bladder surgery totally screwed with my cycle and THAT pisses me off (what doesn't). I have always been like clock work. Grrrrr..... I hate being a woman sometimes.

~rant~ Why do men always want to grab your chi chis when they are swollen and painful? Do they enjoy taking their lives in their own hands?

Mr. Sign wants to have separate residences for at least one week a month. Can you blame him?

Small World

I'm doing pretty well with recovery from gall bladder surgery. I've been able to eat pretty well but have to eat even smaller amounts. My body finally gave up the fluids it retained during surgery. I'm down 112 pounds. My incisions look good but I still have some right sided flank pain. It's no worse than it was before surgery.

On a different note, I received an email yesterday from a woman who had taken me under her wing when I attended my first support group meeting before surgery. She was so sweet and caring and kept in touch with me after my surgery. I hadn't heard from her for a while when I got this email:

Jenn, don't know if you remember me, but I met you at the support group meeting at MMPC before your surgery and talked to you quite awhile. I saw that you had gall bladder surgery on Friday. You're not going to believe this, but I did too. I think we were recovering together. YES, I was the grumpy one across from you. I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't really see you. All I know is that I was not feeling the greatest and I couldn't believe you were so upbeat and chipper. Sorry I was so grumpy! Anyway, this is quite ironic don't you think?

I can't believe what a small world it is!

3 Month Weighloss Checkup

The checkups led to some good news and some bad. Let's get the bad out of the way first.

The dietician spanked me for eating soup. I eat soup for lunch every day since we eat out and I can get it in a 1 cup size. Weighloss surgery patients are not allowed to eat any liquid calories. The reason for this is that liquids will not stay in our small stomachs which leads to hunger quicker. The rule is that if you were to put a substance in a funnel and it goes through immediately, you should not eat (or drink) it. This also applies to my awesome protein shake I make myself for breakfast every day. She did say I could use less liquid to make it thicker. I'm so bummed because I'm finally getting all the protein I need in. She doesn't want me to have it for breakfast, but for a late snack instead. Her reasoning for this is that she wants whatever you eat for breakfast to stick with you longer. I'm going to continue with the shakes until I find I'm not losing weight.

Mr. Sign spoke with the exercise psysiotherapist first. He's all gung ho to continue with his gym training (he goes every day). This made me look like a bum since I'm doing some leg lifts and band training. The exercise guy was very cool about my plan. I was so embarrassed because my stomach decided to rebel right in the middle of our appointment. Luckily, there was a bathroom close by. I think it was nerves.

Bad news for Mr. Sign came in that he will probably have to have his gall bladder removed within the next 3 months. He was told to watch how he's feeling very closely.

Now for the good news! We have both lost a total of 76 pounds each. His BMI (body mass index) has decreased by 9% and mine by 10%. I have lost 10 inches in both my hips and belly.

The really good news! My blood test results are back.

• My cholesterol is 115 (less than 200 is normal)
  
• HDL 26 (greater than 59 is normal [he didn't mention anything about this being too low so I don't know])
  
• LDL 80 (less than 100 is normal)
  
• triglycerides 45 (less than 150 is normal)

We were both shown a picture of ourselves from when we started this journey. I had a hard time looking at mine. It's a place I never want to go again. The physician's assistant remarked that we both had noticable physical changes. (I still don't see mine.)

To this day, I haven't regretted for a minute that I had weightloss surgery.

Tomorrow's His Big Day

Tomorrow morning, Mr. Sign and I have to be at the hospital (1 hour drive) at 7am. I'm more nervous for him than I was for myself. I've never stopped to think about what life would be like without him. I've known him for almost half my life. He's been with me through thick and thin in the literal sense. No matter what I looked like, he's always loved me. He has tried to shelter me from hurtful outside sources as any protector would.

I'm excited about what life will be like for both of us and our girls. We will be healthier and hopefully happier.

Best wishes to you, Mr. Sign. I love you with all of my heart.

Change Of Plans

My surgery was rescheduled for 10:45 am today. This should be a good thing.

See you all soon!

Mindless Ramblings

Mr. Sign and my mother are coming to the hospital with me. I plan on sending my mother on her way as soon as I'm in my room. Otherwise, I will feel like I have to entertain her. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to want to sleep.

When I'm sick, I just want to be left alone. I don't want anyone around me. If I can sleep, I know I will get better. I don't need anything, except my bed. If I do need something, I'll let someone know.

My best friend told me that she wants to come to the hospital. I told her that I'm not going to be there long and she can come and see me at home. She informed me last night at a party, that she intends to not only come to the hospital, but she plans on staying the night. I let her know that I was sure they wouldn't let her stay. She's adamant.

I don't even want my mother there. There's a lot involved with the first night after surgery, including a catheter. I don't need anyone seeing that. Am I wrong to refuse her? Maybe I'm just being a bitch. I know she has me in her best interst. I don't know. *sigh*

I've been quite emotional today. I go from being teary eyed to dancing in a split second. It seems that everyone wants a piece of me and I just don't have time to give it. Sorry people, I can't solve your problems. I have my own issues to deal with.

This will be my last post before surgery. I'll see you all on the loser's side.

Countdown

It's getting closer! I'm excited. I feel like I'm waiting to open a gift. I wonder if I'll still feel that way on Thursday?

My surgery is scheduled for 2pm. Barman has offered to update this page to let you know what's going on. Mr. Sign said he would call him after surgery. Thanks, Bryan! (Just don't do anything perverted. On second thought, maybe more people would read it...)

For those of you that don't know, Barman lives about 5 miles from my home. We got to meet each other at the the Ann Arbor Blogger meeting in late March. It's really fun to know that I've made an internet friend that lives so close.

TWO MORE DAYS........

Nervous, Happy, Scared, Excited!

I called the WLS center yesterday to make sure they had the correct phone numbers since they hadn't called to schedule my surgery. The scheduler told me I was scheduled to be scheduled next week. I was pissed! I knew that if they waited that long, it would be after the new year before I could have the surgery.

So, I did what every woman without balls does. I hung up and called my husband and protecter. Mr. Sign called the WLS center to remind them that it was partially their fault that our surgeries had been so delayed. The office manager admitted neglegence and low and behold, I got a call 5 minutes later.

She only had one opening in November, the 25th, which didn't work for me. She said, "Well, I just had a cancellation for 2 weeks from tomorrow but you have to come to a class tomorrow or you can't have the surgery." I said, I'll figure out a way to be there!

Well, my little chickadees, my surgery is scheduled for October 25th! Two weeks from today. I will be attending a dietician and excercise class all day today. I begin the 800 calorie diet today.

Luckily, I had my last dinner last night with a good friend. I had a steak, garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli and for dessert, sizzling apple pie. I got the meal for free since I ordered the steak medium rare and it came out well done. I sent it back and the new one that returned was well done again. The manager gave me the meal for free.

If you are a religious person, please pray for me. If not, just send good vibes my way as I begin my journey.

Happy Dance!

I got my official approval letter for gastric bypass surgery!!!!! I feel giggly and excited like I'm about to open a Christmas present.

The next step is to schedule a surgery date and an appointment with a nutritionist. I'll be put on an 800 calorie diet. Bear with me because I'm sure I'll be a bitch during that two weeks.

~Edit~ *giggle* It seems as if, in my excitement, I originally wrote this post in Webdings font. Sorry if you were one of those people. (Remember, I AM blonde.)

Cautiously Optimistic

I talked to the insurance company today. The woman who answered the phone sounded frail and confused. She tried to tell me that I had an approval letter mailed to me on August 31. I told her that my husband had received a letter but I hadn't. She said, "Oh, I guess that they have confused your cases. "

I think the old broad was on crack so I'm not putting too much hope into the fact that she said I had been approved and a letter was mailed on Oct. 3rd. After all I've been through with the insurance company, I remain slightly leary.

On the other hand, my insides are screaming a "hallelujah, it's about f-ing time!" It's amazing how much you invest emotionally in placing your future somewhere that you have no control over.

The surgery center is booking surgeries for November. I guess this means I have to stop eating everything in sight. I'm quite sure I have gained since I was in the surgeon's office in May. I gave myself permission to eat anything I wanted with little restraint. I figured it didn't matter either way. If I was going to have the surgery, I would be able to lose weight later. If I was denied the surgery, I was going to die anyway, so what was the difference?

The decision to have WLS was not taken lightly and once I made up my mind, I felt nothing could stop me. I have always claimed not to be depressed, but the waiting and thinking I could be denied, made me feel completely out of control. I think this anxiousness could be classified as a form of depression. I dunno.

So, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to contain my excitement.