Little Kids Are Wicked

Mr. Sign, the girls, my sister and BIL and many more played laser tag last night at Zap Zone. Let me first say that it was our family's first attempt at playing this game. They put you in this tiny room with 29 other people and try to explain in 2/4 time what you are supposed to do. I couldn't tell you my name after trying to figure out what these people were telling me.

I strapped on a vest that looked like this (although not as nice): My code name was Ranger. Immediately upon entering the dark maze, I was shot by some 9 year old kid which renders your gun impotent for 5 seconds. As soon as my vest came back on, another freaking little bastard came around a corner and shot me again. I hadn't even got one shot off. I wandered around trying to find a hiding place so I didn't get obliterated any more, not really knowing what the hell I was doing. Because it's dark, the only way you can tell if someone is on your team is to look for the flashing lights on the front and back of their vests. I'm sure I shot some people on my own team.

The maze had three levels but it seemed that everyone always seems to be in the area that I was.

I really sucked pretty bad at my first game, placing 24th out of 29 people. I decided to try a new approach for the second game. I hid in an area that was near two of the ramps. As people came up the ramp, I would jump out and shoot them and then retreat. I was sure I was killing at this game. My accuracy had to be pretty awesome since I wasn't wasting any shots.

I was ready to get my score, knowing that I had to be number 4 at least because of my new tactic. Imagine my disappointment when I got my score and I placed 28th out of 29. How the hell did that happen? My accuracy improved, but my overall score sucked!

The third game I was out for blood. I didn't care that there were little, and I mean little kids in there. I was a war machine trained to down anyone who posed a threat. This also included Mr. Sign and daughter #2. They were easy targets as I jumped out and obliterated them, rendering their lasers useless against my stealth like abilities. I rocked it, people!

Final scores came back and I had done slightly better, earning 20th place out of 29. I'm sure that the only people that did worse than me were the few other loser parents that were in there with their sweaty, smelly teen aged boys. Did I mention that the whole place smelled like sweat socks in the boys locker room (yes, I've been in a few locker rooms)? I can only attribute this to all of the testosterone that flows through that place.

I think this is something that we as a family will do again. I need to hone my skills so I can beat those snotty nosed little devils.

I got to cross off another activity that I've always wanted to do but was held back by my weight. I could have never fit on the vest that is required for play. I'm so happy that I'm able to participate on a physical level with my kids instead of hearing it second hand because I wasn't there.